Fullmetal Pedigree!
by ShoesXsmileS
Summary: That shrimp of a second-year hadn't even been at Ouran for a whole day and he was already giving Tamaki hell. First, he made Haruhi totally hate him. Then, he made everyone at Ouran think he was gay.
1. Chapter 1

Hiya guys! Well, since I discontinued I Got a Feeling, this (potentially awful) idea popped into my head and I decided it would keep me occupied for a while. I rarely write comedies, so I thought this would be the perfect comedy to let me relax from trying to create romantic dramas. NO PAIRINGS FTW!

Let's see, I've been into FMA for quite a while now, but I just got really into Ouran when the English DVD came out on October 28th. Let me tell you, I think it's awesome. Since I keep up with voice actors and the like, and I couldn't help noticing that FMA and Ouran have a lot of the same voice actors, this idea couldn't help but pop into my head. Well, I hope it's not as bad as I initially thought it was going to be, and I hope you enjoy! Oh, and review afterwards!

_Fullmetal Pedigree!_

"I hate damn rich people…so egotistical…" muttered Edward Elric under his breath.

"Brother! S-slow down!" Alphonse struggled to keep up with Edward because he knew if he was separated from him, he would indefinitely be lost in this huge school. Normally he'd be able to keep up with his rampaging brother, but he had just gotten his true body back, and he was just getting used to it again. Plus, the uniform they wore had to be the stuffiest thing they ever had to wear, ever. They had only been there a few hours on their first day, and while Al could handle it for the most part, Ed had just about lost it. Al had no idea where Ed was going. He seemed to randomly be trudging through the hallways, but it would later appear that fate had carried them.

Edward flew up a giant staircase, down a long and wide hallway with an exaggerated window that dove-like birds flew past. He came to a room that seemed to be the only room that was silent in the entire universe when he walked past.

"Al! What does that sign say?" Al came short of running straight into his older—yet shorter—brother. He immediately looked up and interpreted the sign he was pointing to. He had to do that a lot since they had been launched into this strange world. Neither of them had known where they were when they first got there, until they had walked right into a sign and Al screeched "Brother, that's Japanese! We're in Japan!" What led after that was a big questioning of how Al knew that and Ed didn't, and neither of the two could understand why. Since then, Al had to read everything that they came across that was written in Japanese. Ed had to rely on his younger brother, and he hated relying on people. He promised himself that he would learn Japanese as soon as possible, but he really just hoped that they wouldn't have to stay there too long.

"It says…Music Room #3. It's obviously an abandoned one, because it doesn't sound like any music is being made in there."

"That means we're eating lunch in there. Let's go…"

"Brother, wait! Can you at least knock…" but it was too late. Ed had already turned the handle of one of the double doors that had to be twice his height if not more, and the two brothers were attacked with an abundance of red rose petals.

"Welcome!" was the noise that radiated out from the door. It sounded like five…no six…no _seven _overly-optimistic boys.

"What the hell?!" Ed screamed as he and his brother tried removing the rose petals from their uniforms, pretty much failing. "I'm going to smell like roses all day now!"

"You must be the new students without pedigree, correct?" a black-haired boy wearing glasses said. He held a black book that he was constantly writing in, and he had just stopped to smile and comment. He went right back to writing. Ed didn't like him or his crooked smile at all. _What could he be writing in that stupid thing?_ he thought.

The tall blonde that had been sitting in a luxurious chair only seconds before was now in their faces, gasping the wits out of himself. "You must be Edward and Alphonse Elric! The prodigy brothers!" They saw a brown-haired boy laughing to himself—no wait, that was a girl; that was definitely a girl(1). Wait…then why was she wearing a boy's uniform? This group of people were only getting weirder by the second.

"How do you know our names?!" Ed was obviously very irritated at the moment.

"Why, you're infamous!" said the glasses boy, "You're the only commoner that's ever gotten into Ouran Academy besides our very own Haruhi Fujioka here," he gestured to the brown-haired girl with a wave of his hand. _Hmm… _though Edward, _but that still doesn't explain why she's wearing a boy's uniform…_

Then Ed realized, all he wanted to do was get out of there was soon as possible. All these guys were a bunch of narcissist idiots (his words, not mine,) and by now he couldn't care less about why there was a girl in a boy's uniform, or better yet, why there was an elementary school kid in a high school uniform(2), _or_ why they were all so freaking interested in him and Al. This mysterious place pretty near frightened him, though he'd never admit it to anyone, himself included. Al was feeling almost exactly the same way, except he didn't believe them to be narcissist idiots, just misguided souls in the spectrum of time. Though he wouldn't mention_ that_ to anyone here, except maybe Ed, and probably not even him.

The next event I am about to record may or may not have happened, but the only disbelief against it is that this event is supposedly impossible. I for one do not believe this, and neither does most of Ouran Academy, or even the Host Club members, who witnessed it themselves. They say it was perhaps a hoax, a trick of the eye. The only possible proof is the damage left behind and what eye-accounts say. It is not my decision if you choose to believe this or not.

Ed turned to leave when he was suddenly up off the floor, at least just a foot and a half above the ground. He faced the source of his sudden uplifting, to see that that tall, egotistical blonde, the one that had been so extremely intrigued with him earlier, was holding him up by his underarms.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!"

"What a foul mouth you have," he said, "and for such a vertically-challenged boy…"

"WHAT? I'M _NOT_ SHORT!" No one in Ouran Academy had seen such a vicious temper before, and even if they did, they would have reported it immediately, thinking that some evil spirit had possessed the flaming idiot. _Al, _on the other hand, had seen it more times than he could count.

"Brother, please!" He tried reaching for him, but it was too late. Ed had already caught sight of the blonde's eye color. _Violet_.

Obviously, they were in an alternate universe, so it's still a wonder how Ed thought this up. Maybe it just immediately set off a warning signal in Ed's mind…

"HOMONCULUS!" he screamed, letting the narcissist holding him get a face-full of wind and an eye-full of terror from the little guy. Even though he had no idea what a homunculus was, it obviously scared the crap out of the boy he was holding. His first instinct was to drop him. Ed's first instinct was…up, for some reason. So the blonde let go, and the blonde he was holding shot up, grabbing hold of the chandelier above them, which uprooted and came crashing down. No one was hurt, except it almost hurt Ed, but he moved out of way in time. The room went pitch black.

"…What just happened?" someone finally asked, after a few seconds of dead silence. Someone started hyperventilating.

"Someone…somebody, please…t-t-turn on the li-i-ights…"

"We can't…Mr._ Genius _Elric broke the only light source in this room."

"That narcissist was the one that made me!"

"Narcissist! How dare…"

"Be quiet. We need to get out of here before…" more hyperventilating.

"Guys, please…" whoever was hyperventilating had just choked and begun crying softly.

Suddenly, the door burst open. The tall black-haired guy (must be a senior, Ed thought) who was seemingly attached to the hip of the elementary school kid, had opened the door and was already carrying Al, the one guilty of hyperventilating and now crying, with ease out the door. Everyone else followed. The Ed realized, _hey, wasn't that guy just all the way across the room?_(3)He guessed it didn't matter.

Once everyone was safely away from the dark room, the senior set Al down up against a wall. "Al…stop crying…" was all he could say to his pathetic(4) younger (contrary to popular belief) brother.

For as long as Ed could remember, Al had been deathly afraid of pitch blackness. It had to be his only one true weakness. He remembered way back when they were kids, there were those rare nights when the sky would be pitch black because it was so cloudy, or their mother would forget to pull the blinds back up before they went to bed. So rare, but when it happened, Ed's world practically came crashing down and he was a little kid again. He always had to remind himself it wasn't as bad as he thought. But Al was still crying.

"Al-chan, what's wrong? Why are you crying?" Ed turned to meet the face of the elementary school kid. So, he didn't just look like one, he acted like one, too. But what was with him putting "chan" at the end of his name? It didn't make sense at all. It was probably a Japanese thing. Then, Al probably understand it, and that's all that mattered. He'd ask him about it later, but at the moment, the subject of the matter had tears running down his face, blubbering.

"Al, it's okay! Snap out of it!" the crying still persisted.

"Does he need to go to the infirmary?" said two high-pitched, but somehow masculine(5), voices in perfect unison. They sounded like twins, maybe, and it sounded like they were talking more to each other than anyone else.

No one even waited for a "yes" or "no." The tall black-haired senior aforementioned was already carrying Al, again with little ease. He was crying into his chest, making his uniform wet, but he didn't seem to mind. Everyone trailed behind him, and Ed couldn't help but be dragged along.

_Fullmetal Pedigree!_

Footnotes!

(1) Ed is just a little more observant than most of the Ouran kids. :)

(2) Obviously referring to Honey. I _know _Honey is actually a senior, but since this is Ed's POV at the moment and he believes that at the moment, I decided to put it in that context.

(3) "Activate the conveyer belt." – Vic Mignogna, OHSHC episode 1 commentary

(4) I almost didn't put this, because I knew it would confuse a lot of people. It may sound like Ed thinks that Al's pathetic, but that's not the case. In this case, it just means that it seems no one can help him because he's in such a lowly state.

(5) This is talking about the official English dub voice actors. I've only watched a couple episodes in Japanese, but I haven't watched it in so long that I don't even remember how anyone sounds.

/

A/N: So how did you like it? Did it cut off at a really weird place? Sorry about that, I was kinda having writer's block and I was really excited about putting this up, so…this is what you get. Review, review, review! Constructive criticism FTW!

BIG CHAPTER'S REVIEW QUESTION: Was Al's fear of pitch darkness too weird?


	2. Chapter 2

Hiii everyone! I'M THE WORST PERSON EVER FOR MAKING YOU WAIT FOREVER FOR THIS CHAPTER! I kind of felt like I needed to watch the second Ouran DVD to get a better idea of how the Ouran characters should interact with one another, and I was right. I felt like I could add a lot more accurate depth to them after watching the second DVD (which is, by the way, TEN TIMES awesome-r than the first one!...That isn't a spoiler, is it?) Thanks for all of you that reviewed and subscribed! The first chapter went over a lot better than I expected it to! ^^;

Kind of the reason this came up so late besides the reason stated above is because I had to start this chapter all over. After typing up about two one-third pages up, I decided I wanted to totally change what was going to happen in this chapter since I couldn't think of anything to continue that chapter with and it was far too short anyhow. I like this idea a lot better anyway.

I gots a story I want to share with you guys. I went to Oni-Con '08, my first anime convention, for one day on Saturday. I got to meet Vic Mignogna (Ed and Tamaki's voice actor, for those not in the know) and bought a bunch of stuff in the dealer's room and artist's alley, which was to be expected of. Anyway, the thing I wanted to share was that while I was in Vic's 11am Panel, I saw an Ed cosplayer in an Ouran uniform in the first row! I never got to talk to them because me and my friends had to rush to the Ouran panel that was starting immediately afterwards, and I never saw them for the rest of the con. I'm probably flattering myself in even wondering if that cosplay was inspired by my story. ^^;

Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy the second chapter of Fullmetal Pedigree, and please don't hate me for the uber lag on the update of this story! Hopefully I can get the third chapter up faster than this one! ^^;

_Fullmetal Pedigree!_

Edward sat impatiently outside the infirmary. It took the medical staff forever to allow him to stay instead of going to lunch, even if he couldn't be in the room with Al. Obviously, they sensed the strong bond that the brothers shared; either that, or they were just plain scared of Ed (and if you ask me, I believe it was the latter.)

_Damn rich people…_ Ed thought to himself, _it's all that narcissist's fault that I broke the chandelier. I was just minding my own business, when all of a sudden; he just picks me up and calls me short! He doesn't even KNOW me(1)!_

While he thought such thoughts and profanities about his new peers, one of said peers walked right up to him, seemingly out of no where. "Uh, yeah…" he—wait, no, that was the brown-haired girl—said. She had one hand behind her head and turned to look back from where she walked from, as if people were watching her and she was nervous. Ed merely gave her a cock-eyed look. He couldn't be bothered to deal with any of _them_ right now, and he honestly couldn't care less why she wasn't in her lunch at that given moment.

"What do you want?" Edward hissed. He knew that girl hadn't done anything to wrong him, but, again, he was thoroughly irritated with that group, whoever they were.

"You broke a chandelier," she said, with a bewildered look on her face. (She's one of the ones who, even though they witnessed it, did not believe Ed actually broke the chandelier by the means that he did.)

"Yeah, and? Can't you damn rich people just pay for the damage yourselves?"

"Unfortunately, we cannot," she laughed to herself, "You sound just like me." She sat down next to him. "I'm just a middle class citizen, but I came here on a huge scholarship because I'm a straight-A honor student. The same for you and your brother, right?…I hate all these damn rich people sometimes too, but…they grow on you after a while."

"…Then how the hell am I supposed to pay my debt?" he inquired, totally ignoring her attempt at a touchy-feely moment.

"You'll do what I did," she said, "become a host." A puzzled look suddenly crossed her face. She seemed to be studying Ed's facial features.

"…What're you looking at?" Ed couldn't help but ask a few seconds after the silence.

"Oh, it's nothing," she said, snapping back to reality, "it's just…you wouldn't happen to be a _girl_, would you? I mean, it would explain your small stature and your long hair, and you do kind of have some girlish facial features…"

Ed couldn't be anymore offended. "_HELL_ NO! WHAT WOULD GIVE YOU THAT IDEA?" he yelled, completely outraged.

She was ready to defend herself immediately. "It's nothing! It's just…never mind…"

"…It's because _you're_ a girl, right?"

"…What did you just say?"

_Why does she seem so surprised?_ Ed wondered. "You're a girl, right? I must be blind not to be able to tell," he repeated, completely casual, "well, if you _are_ a girl, why are you in a boy's uniform?"

After a moment of silence, she sighed, defeated. "Biologically, yeah. It's a long story."

"I'm not leaving anytime soon," he settled into listen. This was the first time since he arrived in this strange place that he had actually given his listening ear to someone.

"Well, okay. I guess since you are a host now, you were going to find out anyway. On my first day of school here, I was just looking for a quiet place to read. There were four library rooms, and not one of them was quiet! Eventually, after some long searching, I came across a room that was seemingly perfectly quiet: Music Room #3. Sound familiar?"

Ed nodded. "Go on."

"All right. So, of course, I entered, in spite of myself. Just as you had, I was attacked by rose petals; the kind with the smell that just sticks to you. That smell didn't wear off me for a _long_ time, which explains why the host club members always smell like roses…anyway, when I entered, they instantly mistook me for a boy. I didn't have enough money to buy a school uniform, so I just threw on whatever for the day. Anyway, one thing led to another, and I ended up breaking a vase. The debt on that stupid thing was eight million yen; an unbelievable amount of money that I could hardly think of accumulating by myself. At first, I was their errand dog for a while, but then they forced me into becoming a host, and half of them were still thinking I was a boy. Anyway, things led to other things, until they all, one way or another, found out I was a girl. They're the only people in the school who know my secret, and they intend to keep it that way. And now…you know, too."

"Wow…" was all Ed managed to say, "Tell me, that blonde narcissist, was he one of the ones that were the last to find out you were a girl?"

"You mean Tamaki-_senpai_? Uhm, yeah…he was the last to find out, and he didn't realize it until he saw me in my underwear."

Ed snorted. "How thick can he get?"

She scrunched up her face, but decided to evade that conversation until another time(2). "I'm Haruhi, by the way," she said was a tiny smile, "Are you a foreigner? Sorry, but I had to ask, your name is just so unusual."

_So is yours,_ Ed thought to himself, but he pushed that thought out of his head.

"I guess you could say that…" it sounded awfully suspicious, but Haruhi didn't seem to mind.

"And your footsteps."

"Huh?"

"Like you don't notice?" she said, "Your footsteps. They're uneven-sounding."

"Oh, that? That's just, uh…the way I walk. Yeah. I was in an accident when I was younger, and I've walked like that ever since." He _was_ telling the truth; just not the whole truth, but can you honestly blame him?

Haruhi gave him a suspicious glance. "O-kay…" But she didn't question him again. She was sure he had his own personal reasons, and he did. "Maybe you should go now. I think Alphonse will be okay if you're not there when he wakes up. He'll understand."

"I guess you're right…" Ed sighed, pushing himself up. "I don't even know where I'm supposed to be."

"Everyone's still in lunch right now. That means its host club time. Follow me." Haruhi began walking on her route to Music Room #3.

_I am totally going to regret this,_ Ed thought to himself. But he followed her anyway.

_Fullmetal Pedigree!_

"Well, if you go by his height, he would be the loli-shota type, but Honey's already gotten that covered…" Ed resisted the urge to go into full-on short rant mode. The one that had said that was Hikaru—or was it Kaoru? Ed was still unable to tell, even after just being told moments before the difference between their parts.

"His type doesn't matter at the moment. Let the ladies decide, shall we?" Tamaki, the "king," (though Ed thought him to be anything but) said.

Seconds ago, along with learning everyone's names, he learned about honorifics in addition to just exactly what this host club thing was all about. The whole idea seemed incredibly idiotic to him. He was hardly enthusiastic about entertaining girls that have way too much time on their hands. He also didn't understand how any of their "customers" could actually feel content with themselves when they knew it was all an act. It was sickening to him, really. But he knew he had to suck it up and do it.

"So…when do I start?" Edward asked warily.

"Why not start now?" Tamaki asked, "Like they say, no better time than the present!"

_You know I really hate you right now, right?_ Ed thought to himself. Instead, he forced a smile and said, "Yeah, you're right." Out of the corner of his eye he could tell Haruhi was giving him a look that obviously meant that she knew he was completely faking.

Thus, the barrier between Ed's true feelings for the hosts and how he portrayed himself to them was starting to set in stone.

_Fullmetal Pedigree!_

Edward was forced to entertain Unnamed Girl A, Unnamed Girl B, and Unnamed Girl C(3). How they could all be so love-struck from only hearing a few words from him was beyond him.

"You're a foreigner, right Edward?" Unnamed Girl B said. (I'd explain how he decided who would be A, who would be B, and who would be C, but the only person it actually makes sense to is, well, Ed.)

"Yeah," he said, just nearing combustion. It was about the hundredth time anyone had asked him that question in the past five minutes. Why did the girls felt the need to ask even though Tamaki had pointedly introduced him as such? Idle conversation, maybe? It would make sense considering the circumstances. Ed thought that these girls needed to get a real hobby. And yes, at this point, he couldn't care less that out of the hundred times he had been asked the same question, he had more-or-less lied in response.

"What made you move to Japan?" Unnamed Girl A inquired.

"Err…my father, he…we had to move," he said, trying not to remember too hard about what he had witnessed only days before(4), "Me, him, and my brother."

"You have a brother?" Unnamed Girl B said.

"What grade is he in?" Unnamed Girl A said.

"Why isn't he a host, too?" Unnamed Girl C said.

"He's not in this stupid host club because it's a freakin' waste of time! I was _forced_ into this club because that _egoist_ you call a king made me break a chandelier!" At least, that's what he wanted to say.

"Yeah, he's a first-year. Actually, I have a debt to this club I needed to take care of." He was at least allowed to say that, wasn't he?

"Oh, like Haruhi!" Unnamed Girl C said.

"The host club is so creative in getting commoners to pay their debt, aren't they?" Unnamed Girl B praised, more to the other girls than Ed.

_WHAT?! Hardly! They're just a bunch of sadists! And I am _not_ a commoner! You should've seen how I was in Amestris when I was _made_ of military paychecks, you rich little—!_

"Yeah, I'm pretty fortunate they didn't put me in a dungeon or something," he said, trying to humor them as best he could, even though he felt like doing anything but—not here, not with these spoiled brats that were sad excuses for young ladies, not with these poor excuses for members of an elite private academy. He'd rather be back at home, catching up with Al. Even if they didn't have a place they could even call a shelter yet.

Suddenly, Kyoya—the glasses guy—came over and dismissed the ladies.

"So, do you mind if…" Unnamed Girl B started.

"…we requested you for tomorrow?" Unnamed Girl A finished.

"Yeah, I'd really appreciate it!" _Bubble-headed brats._

The girls got up, curtsied to Edward, and left the club room. Edward got up with a heaving sigh and loosened his tie, which was really starting to get on his last nerve along with all these damn spoiled rich people.

"How was your first day, little rookie?" Tamaki was suddenly hovering over him. Ed looked up—he had to, because of the extreme height difference. That's when he realized the subtle short joke.

"WHO'RE YOU CALLIN' SO SHORT THEY COULD BE THE LOLI-SHOTA TYPE?!" he fumed.

"Uhm, I think that would be _you_," he said, hardly stricken by the outburst itself.

"WHY YOU—!"

"GUYS! Please!" Haruhi was suddenly between them, possibly saving Tamaki from a broken nose. She was prepared to keep Ed back with all her strength, but it seemed she didn't have to. He restrained himself to mere snarling when she threw herself between them.

"Haruhi…" Tamaki muttered, stepping back away from her.

At a distance, the twins, Hikaru and Kaoru, observed the scene.

"Looks like Haruhi's gotten to someone else, hasn't she, Hikaru?" Kaoru glanced over at his older twin.

"Yeah…" his brother responded in awe.

_Fullmetal Pedigree!_

~Footnotes!~

(1) Those of you who watched the first DVD set over and over and over and over again should get why this gets its own little footnote. 

(2) Yeah, that totally wasn't a hint at some Haruhi X Tamaki right there, of course not.

(3) SOLD~I~ER A~! SOLD~I~ER A~! THE UNSUNG HERO OF ANIME~! Okay, I'll stop now. Vic Mignogna fangirl much.

(4) AHH! SPOILER FOR THE MOVIE! But I'll say it anyway since this is heavily based off the movie anyway and it shouldn't really make sense if you haven't seen the movie…

You know the part when Envy's dragon form goes CHOMP on Hohenheim? Yeah, that's what he's trying _not_ to think of.

/

DUN, DUN, DUUUUUUN!

What'd you guys think! Review, review, review!!!

BTW, I love writing in Ed's POV in this story. I know it sounds evil, but I love writing to bitterly! This story helps me get my anger out. X3

PAIRINGS QUESTION! IMPORTANT!: Okay, I know I said at this beginning that this story didn't have any pairings, but now I'm starting to think otherwise. What I would like to know is, would it be too weird if there were cross-universe pairings, i.e. Ed X Haruhi? I'm already a huge Haruhi X Tamaki fan so there will most likely be hints of that throughout the story (see footnote 2), so maybe I should just keep it as that, but maybe there could be a love triangle? It's all up to you guys! I don't want to put something in here that you guys don't want to read! ^_^ Let your voice be heard!

CHAPTER'S REVIEW QUESTION: What sort of "weird happenings of Ouran" would you like to be in this story? Stuff like Ed and Al meeting Nekozawa, you know.


	3. Chapter 3

Yet again, I've taken forever to update…I've sort of been having writer's block again, but at least I stuck with my first idea this time. AND I came up with an awesome ending to this chapter! At least, I think it's awesome. And hey, at least, I didn't take as long as last time, eh? I was kind of getting tired of emotional overload, so I decided to write in Al's loose POV for most of this chapter! He's a lot nicer than Ed. XD

I'm working on a RoyEd one-shot (that is going to be AWESOME!!) that you guys should totally check out (if you like RoyEd, that is.) That's also what I've been working on half the time you've been waiting for this update, so it's worth reading when I (finally) get it up here. (Yes, I did use parentheses three times in one short paragraph.)

Think of this as my belated Valentine's gift to you all and enjoy! :D

_Fullmetal Pedigree!_

"Where's Ed?!" Alphonse commanded immediately.

"I-I'm sorry…do you mean your brother? He was waiting outside, but I guess he left…" the school nurse was over by his side in a second with a worried expression on her face.

"Oh…sorry, Miss. I feel fine now. May I leave?" He had lost it there a second; totally forgot where he was, reverting back to old habits. This was Ouran Academy, where nothing bad ever happened. He had to be polite.

"Let me write you a pass," she said, the petite figure walking back to her desk, "What's your next class?"

"I…I don't know," he said, then added quickly, "I just transferred here, I'm sorry."

She smiled. "That's okay," she said, "What's your name?"

He subconsciously looked over her shoulder at the computer screen filled with Japanese characters. "Umm…Alphonse Elric…"

She typed something into her computer, probably his name, but it was far too fast for his mind to ever comprehend. After looking at the computer screen a few more seconds when it was fully loaded, she said without looked up from her computer, "Oh. You have lunch right now. You don't need a pass."

"Oh, okay. Thanks," he said, spinning on his heel towards the door.

Even though he had spent the majority of his morning at Ouran Academy, he hadn't gotten a chance to enjoy and soak in the amazing architectural masterpiece. It really was breathtakingly beautiful, just as the pamphlets him and Ed had read said. Some of the designs on the walls and ceilings made him stop for a second to just stare at and wonder how long it took to finish building the school in full.

After wandering the halls of Ouran for what seemed like hours but couldn't have been more than ten minutes, Al realized he had absolutely no idea where he was. He had wandered off to where it was so quiet he could hear the doves flying through the air outside. He lost a bit of control in his head as he tried to retrace his steps.

He walked into a hallway that he recognized: the empty hallway, with only one door way to Music Room #3. He didn't know if anyone would be in there, but decided to check anyway. But before he could even knock or turn the handle, Ed walked through the altitudinous double doors. He looked up to meet eyes with Al and blushed.

"Oh…Al," he said, sounding nervous.

"Brother! I'm so glad I found you! I got lost," Al exclaimed.

"Oh…heh, yeah," the nerve in his voice hardly diminished.

"…Is there something wrong?" Al questioned. He was worried. Why was Edward acting so weird?

"Oh! It's nothing," he said, shutting the doors. "Hey, don't you have classes to get to? I know I do! I'll see you after school outside, all right?" He swiftly—but with uneven-sounding footsteps that echoed through the corridors—walked away.

It was then that the younger Elric brother realized that whatever had made Ed so nervous was inside Music Room #3, and it was something he definitely didn't want Al to see. But he _had_ to see.

He turned the doorknob slowly, and the rose petals began blowing furiously through the crack in the door. Alphonse shut the door again quickly and observed the pile of fresh rose petals that lie on the floor. He turned back to the door and noticed that the _woosh_ing noise the blowing petals had made had now stopped. He decided to try and open it again.

This time, the door had only been opened a centimeter or two more than last time, but somehow at the same velocity, twice as many petals made their way through the crack in the door. Al was shocked. _What'd they do? Massacre a rose garden and then have all the leftover petals to harm others with?! _He thought to himself.

He decided he'd have to persevere through the rose petals. He opened the door once more and the _woosh_ing sound echoed through his ears like a forgotten sound in a train tunnel. He stepped aside as the insane mass of fresh rose petals flew throughout the door. They created a pile up to his ankles. But, this time, they didn't stop. _What the heck?_ He thought.

All of a sudden, the petals stopped abruptly along with the _woosh_ing noise. Al waited a few seconds and thought it was safe, so he stepped inside.

The black-haired glasses kid stood there with his black book and stated, "We're sorry, our rose petal machine malfunctioned." Al looked around. He didn't see anything that could even be remotely close to being called a machine.

"Uh-_huh_…" Al murmured in disbelief. He didn't even get a chance to think about how weird this club was, because he started to hear yelling on the opposite side of the room.

"I _told_ you, I didn't want either of you to get hurt, not just Edward!"

He looked over to find the brown-haired boy and the tall blonde one yelling at each other, off against the wall of the other side of the room.

"But Haruhi, how could you even let him get away with that?! I didn't even do anything, and he just snapped at me!"

"You called him short! You could already tell he had a height complex! Why'd you have to push it?!"

"I didn't do anything wrong," the taller one said, crossing his arms with a smug expression.

"GOD, TAMAKI(1)! YOU ARE SO STUBBORN!" he(2) yelled before turning around. But right before he did that, he turned back around remarked, "maybe if you weren't so blind, you'd be able to see I was just trying to protect you before things got out of hand!"

"What, are you saying I can't protect myself?" he replied, almost arrogantly.

"Yes, I am," he said in reply before storming out of the room, ignoring Al completely.

"What…just happened?" he said, surprised by the scene he just witnessed. What had his brother done now, and how could it have upset the two young men—Haruhi and Tamaki—so much? He approached his upper classman, but the tall blonde spotted him before he could ask him what happened.

"YOU!" he shouted, and Al froze. What did he want? Was he going to yell at him because Ed had caused such an uproar, or was he going to be empathetic because Ed was his brother and he felt sorry for Al? Either way, at that moment in time, Al was scared of Tamaki_-senpai_.

"I can't believe your brother!" he started, "Haruhi has completely fallen for him after only a day, and I can't get noticed in a whole year! What does he have that I don't have?! That question should be the other way around, but it's_ not_! How can I do better, how can I even _compete_ with Edward, if I don't know what's wrong with me in the first place?"(3) By this time, tears had accumulated in his eyes.

"Um…well…" Why was he dumping all of this on _him_? His only part in this situation was that he was Ed's brother, but no matter how close to him he was, he didn't have to be including in _all_ of his affairs. And…if Haruhi was a _guy_, then…did that mean that Tamaki was gay? Did that mean Haruhi was gay? Did that mean _his brother_ was gay? And most over all, he couldn't deal with people crying. He was never good at that. When Winry had cried when her parents died, he let Ed comfort her. He couldn't take it himself.

"Never mind," he muttered, head down. He pounded his fist on the wall beside Al's head, which made Al jump slightly. "This is your brother's fault. I shouldn't have brought you into it." The tall blonde regained his composure slightly, and walked out the door.

_What—is—going—on?!_

_Fullmetal Pedigree!_

Edward was always late to the military office, but that was mostly because of Colonel Mustang's smug ass. To everything else, he was always early. He liked being early. It gave his life order and organization. Even in primary school, everyday he would yell at Al to get ready for school. When they arrived, Al was always surprised to find that no one had arrived yet. That was the way Ed liked it. So it was no surprise that Ed was far earlier to his class after lunch than everyone else.

He wished he didn't have to be in the same class as Kyoya _and _Tamaki. He would've much rather been in first year. Sure, he had to deal with those twins that made him gag, but he could be with Al and Haruhi. He would've liked that a lot better than being in the same class with_ those_ two dimwits.

A few minutes later, people began filing in with their friends. None of them were as organized as Ed. They all laughed, mingled, and even threw things. Ed just sat quietly, going over the lesson they had learned before lunch. He and Al hadn't gotten a chance to go to school in a long time, what with all the traveling they did when they were back in Amestris. It would take even a child prodigy like Ed himself a while to catch up.

He was just minding his own business, when Kyoya walked right up to him and slammed a hand on his desk. The blonde looked up from his desk into the disgruntled eyes of an_ extremely_ pissed-off being.

"If I were you," he spoke through clenched teeth, "I wouldn't mess with Tamaki Suoh. He has affiliates that can break bones." And with that, he took his seat a little ways behind Ed.

_What was that? _He thought to himself. He tried not to think about that incident. It was not like he felt threatened or anything, it was just…that look in his eyes. It was…he couldn't explain it.

Even so, he couldn't think about it long for now, because the _narcissist_ with his group of fangirls walked inside the room, laughing obnoxiously. Ed was _enraged_. Not only by Tamaki's presence, but in addition to what he heard on the way to his class.

_Fullmetal Pedigree!_

Such a bastard! _Ed thought as he exited the double doors that led to Music Room #3. It was a bit of a shock to see his younger brother right in front of him. "Oh…Al," he said, sounding nervous._

"_Brother! I'm so glad I found you! I got lost," Al exclaimed. _Well, it was going to happen to one of us, _he thought._

"_Oh…heh, yeah," the nerve in his voice hardly diminished._

"…_Is there something wrong?" Al questioned. Obviously Ed was not doing a very good job at not sounding nervous._

"_Oh! It's nothing," he said, shutting the doors. "Hey, don't you have classes to get to? I know I do! I'll see you after school outside, all right?" He swiftly—but with uneven-sounding footsteps that echoed through the corridors—walked away._

_At first he didn't hear anything for a few moments as he walked to his class, but then he heard someone—and that someone was Haruhi—scream, "GOD, TAMAKI! YOU ARE SO STUBBORN!"_

She's…they're fighting about me, aren't they? _Ed thought. He immediately pressed his ear up to the wall, for he was just on the other side of Music Room #3, and he heard the rest of their fight:_

"_What, are you saying I can't protect myself?" That was Tamaki._

"_Yes, I am." That was Haruhi. He heard a door slam open a few seconds later and footsteps heading in the opposite direction. _Must've been Haruhi,_ he thought._

_He would've continued walking, but within a mere few seconds he heard Tamaki screaming, "I can't believe your brother! Haruhi has completely fallen for him after only a day and I can't get noticed in a whole year! What does he have that I don't have?! That question should be the other way around, but it's _not_! How can I do better, how can I even compete with Edward, if I don't know what's wrong with me in the first place?"_

_The narcissist was jealous of _him_? Please. It's not like he was better than Ed or anything, it was just there was nothing Ed had that Tamaki couldn't buy. At least he probably had a mom and dad that spoiled him. Why would he be jealous of him? It gave him a strange feeling of satisfaction, but he hardly had time to have a conscious._

_He heard the door slam open again, and could hear the footsteps approaching him this time. He ran as fast as his little legs could carry him down the corridor to his next class._

_Fullmetal Pedigree!_

So, if Tamaki was supposedly in love with Haruhi, then why did he have so many girls all over him? Why was he even in that stupid host club anyway? It didn't make sense.

Before he even knew it himself, he was in front of the "king" himself, and Tamaki was just staring down at him. Some of the girls were cooing about how "cute" Ed was. Ed would analyze that far too much and take it as a short joke in any normal situation, but he was too distracted at the moment.

"What do you want, jerk?"

"Oh, so I'm a jerk? I'm _so scared_. I'm pissing myself as we speak," Ed mocked, with a whole dance and everything. Tamaki and the girls just gave him a disgusted look. He heard many people murmuring things like "How did he get into Ouran Academy anyway?"

"Now that Haruhi's not here to protect you, I can take you here and now," the taller blonde whispered so that only the two boys could hear it.

"Yeah, right! A prissy private school pussy like you? I _highly_ doubt it!"

Tamaki raised a fully-clenched fist eye level with the shorter boy's face, but Ed put his flesh hand over it. "If you love Haruhi so much, why do you have all these girls fawning over you?"

"What?"

"You know you heard me."

I…I…how did you know?" he said, lowering his fist.

"As if it wasn't totally obvious, I heard you yelling at Al through the walls of the host room." He said, and completely socked Tamaki in the face with his flesh hand (no matter how much he wanted to hit him with his automail one, he couldn't afford to blow their cover now.) "_No one_ talks to my brother like that," he said with venom. There were a lot of _OOO_'s that arose from the crowd of bystanders. Tamaki nearly stood there, feeling the inside of his cheek with his tongue. It was bleeding profusely and there would definitely be a bruise.

Unnamed Girl D, (for Unnamed Girls A, B, and C were already named in Ed's mind,) one of the ones closest to Tamaki, said, "You're in love…with Haruhi?" The girls definitely couldn't believe it—they couldn't even absorb it or wrap their minds around it at all.

Most of the crowd started to whisper, but everyone was saying the same thing: "But Haruhi's a _guy_…"

Ed began to grin maliciously. This was _perfect_. His day couldn't get any better.

"That's _right_! Tamaki Suoh is in love with first-year Haruhi Fujioka!" Ed nearly screamed. Tamaki stared in horror. "This is no rumor, folks! The king said it himself!"

The murmuring got louder, and something probably would've happened if their teacher hadn't walked in approximately at that moment. Everyone scurried to their seats, and long after the lesson had started, there were still a few buzzes of people whisper rumors to each other. Ed's day couldn't be happier with himself.

_Fullmetal Pedigree!_

~Footnotes!~

(1) Yes, I did think about the honorifics here. The thing is she's _so _mad at Tamaki that she won't even honor him by calling him _–senpai_.

(2) Just a reminder: Al still thinks that Haruhi's a guy.

(3) Look how I (not-so) effortlessly avoid using all pronouns referring to Haruhi! Ohoho

_Fullmetal Pedigree!_

DUN, DUN, DUUUN! What'd you think of the ending? I totally freaked when I thought of this idea. XD It's so fun writing unplanned stories for me (i.e. all of my stories,) because when you have writer's block for a long time and then you come up with an awesome idea like that, it's almost as if you're just watching the story unfold instead of creating it.

When I was proofreading, just one word was in my head the whole time: _ITALICS_. Sorry about that. Sometimes I just feel more dramatic when I write than other times. XD I read this one American manga once (yes, there is such a thing,) and they used an excessive amount of italics. Like, once every page at _least_. It got really annoying towards the end, so I'm really sorry if the italics got annoying to anyone. :(

Chapter's Question: So apparently Tamaki's gay for Haruhi! How will the host club customers react? Will Ed ever feel bad for ruining Tamaki's life? How will Al and the rest of the club members react when they realize what Ed's done? _It's all up to you!_


	4. Chapter 4

I feel really bad about this chapter…some people were already talking about how Tamaki is OOC in that he is, basically, extremely emo, but the very beginning of this chapter takes the cake—but it DOES get better. If you can't deal with Tamaki or anyone, for a matter of fact, just being a little OOC, don't read this story—seriously. But most of you are mature enough that you can deal with it for just at least little while. I really hate making any character OOC because it bugs the living crap out of me, but I think that this whole part is pretty important. Maybe one day I'll go back and rewrite it, but this is the way it's going to be for the time being. I'm starting to think I'm not that good at writing comedies, considering this was supposed to be a comedy and it isn't very funny so far. Sorry about that. ^^;

I talk about this too in my A/N for In the Blink of an Eye (which you should all go read by the way, if it's up yet…-_-;.) I rely _way_ too much on my best friend, Kayla, for story help. Well, I don't really _rely_ on her, mostly I just…proof things with her. I mean, I had to call her and ask her whose POV this chapter should be in. ("I was thinking, should it be in Ed's, Al's, Tamaki's, or Haruhi's POV? OR MAYBE KYOYA'S?") I also had to call her up for some high school class information (see footnote #2.) So, thanks so much, Kay-chan!

_Fullmetal Pedigree!_

_It's official, _he thought, _the twins are mere imps compared to Edward, Satan himself._

That shrimp of a second-year hadn't even been at Ouran for a whole day and he was already giving Tamaki hell. First, he made Haruhi totally hate him. Then, he made everyone at Ouran think he was gay, not to mention Haruhi would hear this and _finally_ know the truth. He couldn't be his quirky, cheerful self when couldn't stop thinking about Edward. To _think_ they would have ever even considered him being the loli-shota type—he was _far_ from adorable in Tamaki's eyes. _I wonder if Haruhi thinks he's adorable too… _He shook his head. He told himself that Haruhi wouldn't even consider such a thing; she was far too senile…or would she? Maybe he didn't know her that well after all.

That's what played in Tamaki's Inner Mind Theatre for the remainder of the day. The entire time he spent thinking about Ed, Haruhi, and how much he hated Ed and how much more he didn't know Haruhi. It bothered him. What bothered him even more was that Ed seemed perfectly content, if not cheerful, the whole time. Did he have a conscience at all? Everyone was still in shock over the initial hit of hearing that Tamaki was gay and they were all pretty disturbed by what Ed had said and done to Tamaki before class started. And a plus, Kyoya was plain infuriated by him. Yet Ed still smiled.

Tamaki's cheek throbbed. He had punched him for his brother. It made sense; it was obvious they were incredibly close. Now Tamaki would eventually have to punch him back for Haruhi.

Before he knew it, the end of the day bell rang loudly, the familiar sound echoing against the walls inside Tamaki's skull. Woefully, he stood up with his books and stepped outside the classroom.

One of the girls from his class, a regular host club customer, approached him. "Err…Tamaki-sama?"

"Yes, my princess?" (Even though all that despair, he still couldn't help being charming.)

"Is it true you're in love with Haruhi-kun?"

He should've known. Of course she was going to ask him that. A few other host club customers gathered quietly, anticipating the king's answer.

He couldn't lie. He walked away without a word.

"I knew it!" The girl exclaimed, sounding heartbroken. "Tamaki, how could you do this! To all of us—TO THE HOST CLUB!" The rip in Tamaki's metaphorical heart ripped a little more.

For times like these (which weren't very often,) he knew exactly how to avoid people after school: he'd go to the side of the giant facility and call his driver to tell him where to pick him up. Since he had moved to Japan, he'd only used the system two or three times.

Tamaki stepped out of a side door without anyone noticing and slid down against the outside wall. Now that he was outside with rest of the world a mile away, his thoughts could consume him and the tears could fall freely. The last time he cried at school for a real reason must've been in primary. He couldn't even remember a time after he transferred when he cried at school for real (he did all of that at home, and even then he had to do it softly so his grandmother wouldn't hear him.) And now all this thinking about crying made him want to cry, so he did.

But not for long. "Tamaki-senpai!" a voice sung. He wiped his face quickly with his uniform sleeve to see who it was.

"Alphonse Elric," he replied, emotional, "what do you want?"

"I was just…uh…" The first year was surprised to see Tamaki in such a vulnerable state. "What's wrong?" He sat down next to him.

"Haven't you heard yet?" Al shook his head no. "Your _brother_ told everyone how I feel about Haruhi. Now, by tomorrow, the entire school with have the impression that I'm gay.

"Well, uh…not to be rude or anything, but if you're in love with Haruhi-kun, doesn't that mean you _are_ at least bisexual?"

"Oh, well…Haruhi's a girl, actually, so no." Alphonse was visibly surprised but tried to be calm.

"Oh," was all he said.

Suddenly, Tamaki was confiding into the brother of the very person that was making him feel miserable in the first place. "One of the worst parts is that everyone isn't even questioning it. It makes me wonder what people really think of me, that they could turn their back on me so easily…"

"Why do you care what people think of you so much?" Tamaki looked at him, wanting to hear what he had to say. "I mean, you know you're not gay and your friends know you're not gay. What does it matter if the school thinks you're gay? You know, I've realized that if something's not true, everyone will find out the real truth eventually. Just don't worry about it!"

"I…never thought of it that way," he said, blinking. He definitely _did_ have a point. Tamaki started laughing. He had spent so much time being depressed that he hadn't even thought logically.

Al smiled. "Feeling better?"

Tamaki nodded cheerfully. "So really, what do you need?"

"Oh, um…I was wondering…it's nothing. I don't want to be a burden."

"No, really, what is it?"

"Well…uh…me and Ed…er…our parents are going out of town, and we kind of need a place to stay for quite a while. After hearing you say all that stuff about Ed, maybe that wouldn't be such a good idea…"

"Oh, just that? Sounds like a cliché idea straight out of a fanfiction!"

_Why do I have the urge to say "Tamaki, we're sorry to say this, but you just shattered the fourth wall"?_ Al pondered.

"Like you said, I pretty much loathe your brother, but maybe one of the other host club members would be able to offer up their home! Really, if it was just you, I'd be fine. Oh—I know! How about you take a break from your brother and stay at my house, at least the weekend? It _is_ Friday. He can stay with one of the other host club members for the rest of the weekend."

"Um…I'd have to talk to Ed about it, but I think that might be okay…"

"Yay!" He jumped up, purely ecstatic. It didn't take long for Al to realize that this guy was a raging emotional machine.

_Maybe he doubles as the raging emotional machine and the rose petal machine!_ Al thought, laughing to himself.

_Fullmetal Pedigree!_

He knew Ouran Academy was for the super wealthy, famous, and beautiful, but…damn. Yes, he believed that was the world for the shock he felt when they arrived at the Suoh's second estate.

"It's not that big, but…" Tamaki began meekly.

"Are you _kidding_ me?! I've never seen such a big house in real life before!"

The older boy laughed. "Well, I guess you don't come from a filthy rich family like most of Ouran…of course you would think the second estate was large!" Al didn't hear a word of what his new housemate had just said, for he was already running inside.

When he slammed the door open, he was greeted by maids, but he hardly saw them, too. He gasped dramatically at the large staircase in front of him, and sprinted past the maids.

When Tamaki strolled in calmly at least ten seconds later, the maids ambushed him. "Master Tamaki, Master Tamaki! A crazed boy in your same school uniform just crashed through here like nobody's business!"

The blonde laughed. "Not to worry. He is my newest friend! I'm allowing him to stay in the second estate with me as my guest, for at least the weekend—most likely longer."

The maids made a face, but only one spoke what they were all thinking. "Do you think your grandmother will approve of that?"

"She doesn't live here, and she almost never visits me—she'll never know." The maids would've objected, but he was already going up the stairs.

By the time he arrived to the second floor, Al was laughing like a child, rolling around on the floor exclaiming "SHAG CARPET!" repeatedly(1). Any normal person would've called him insane, but Tamaki just smiled.

"Let me show you to your room, Alphonse." He bounced right up like a bunny and followed him.

"It's okay if you stay in my room with me, right? You'd have to sleep on my couch, but…"

"Oh, that's okay! I don't mind as long as I don't have to sleep on the streets…I mean, well, you know what I mean." He laughed, trying to cover it up, but it just came out as a nervous laugh. Tamaki tried not to be suspicious; he really wanted to like Al (and Ed too, for he didn't enjoy holding grudges or having enemies, but he wouldn't admit that to anyone at the moment.)

A pure white door with a fancy golden handle stood in front of them. Tamaki opened the door to a simply magnificent room: Right by the wall beside the door was a luxurious bright cherry red leather couch; probably the couch Al was going to sleep on. Directly across from the door was Tamaki's bed, with perfectly white sheets that practically _glowed _and a silver bed frame, all perfectly made-up. The wallpaper (besides the hidden baby blue trim) and carpet were also the same sort of glowing white. They must've been cleaned profusely everyday to maintain that level of cleanliness, Al thought. There was also a fancy oak desk with a laptop and a few papers atop it, with an aquamarine desk lamp. Hidden within the wall were closet doors (also perfectly white) with absolutely no skewed clothes in sight. Besides those doors was an oak dresser, matching his desk perfectly. There was a spacious window at the head of his bed so you could so everything in sight—those were also strain-free. The ceiling was at a slant, and the room was fairly large.

And it made Alphonse incredibly nervous to think that he'd be sleeping here for the weekend.

"Um-um-um…where do I put my stuff?"

"You can just put it on the couch for now. Do you have homework?"

"Just a little…starting out in the middle of the year is pretty hard…"

"Oh, I know! I moved here from France in secondary third year, and the schoolwork catching up was _awful_."

"Really? You're French? I…would've never guessed. Your Japanese is very good, for living in France up until third year."

"Thank you! Well, I _am_ half Japanese. My mother's French, my father's Japanese. It's…well, I don't like to talk about it."

Al nodded in understanding. There was going to be a million times he'd have to say "I don't like to talk about it" while he was here, too.

"What country are you from anyway? You did say you were a foreigner, but you never said from where."

"Oh…um…Germany," he said, trying to recall the name of the country that Ed said he had been living in for the last two years.

"Oh, Germany! I've always loved it there! Did you like it there?"

"Err…yeah, I guess." Little did Al know, Tamaki was one of those extremely analytical people that wanted to know every little detail instead of just the basics like most people. But for now, that question count was going to stay at a minimum.

"Umm…" Tamaki said after a few seconds, looking around. "Um…do you want to use my desk to work at for your homework?"

"Oh, no, I couldn't! That's your desk. I'll just use one of my textbooks—I'll be fine."

"Are you sure? Because I can let you use it."

"Really, I'm fine." And with that, the first-year got out some Biology homework to work on. _Why'd I have to be in Biology? Why could've I have been in Chemistry with Ed?_(2) Al thought to himself.

Tamaki looked discontented, but decided to start on homework, too. He took an unknown assignment out of his bag and began working at his desk, with the lights dimmed and his aquamarine lamp on.

_Fullmetal Pedigree!_

Footnotes!

(1) I don't know about you, but I freak out every time I see shag carpet, even in a store. Well, I've never actually been in a real house that had shag carpet in it…have you?

(2) I don't know if it's the same everywhere in the US, but where I live, 9th graders take Biology and 10th graders take Chemistry. I know Japan is supposedly two years ahead of us, but you know what? I COULD CARE LESS. Okay, not really. But still, this makes it easier.

_Fullmetal Pedigree!_

Something I realized after I finished this was Tamaki nor Al took off their shoes and put on house slippers before walking past the front door, but then I couldn't find a place to fit it in without disrupting the flow of the story. Oh well. There couldn't have been that many people that noticed it before I said anything, right?

I really feel I have to explain something: the story states Ed's a second year and Al's a first year, but with their ages (since it's post-Shamballa,) Ed would actually be a third year and Al would actually a second year. Well, let's just say, I felt like it would be way more entertaining if Ed was in the same class as Tamaki and Kyoya, and _someone_ had to be with Haruhi. That's just the way I roll. And I made Al seventeen instead of thirteen because THE MOVIE IS SO STUPID WITH THAT. HIS BODY WOULD'VE AGED IN THE GATE, DON'T YOU THINK? (I've probably ranted about this more than a few times in review responses.) Also, mine is the "manga Al," as some would refer to him as. AGAIN, THE ANIME IS STUPID. If you don't believe, here's living proof! (Okay, it's not living, but you get the point.)

Anime Al: . (dirty blonde, greenish eyes)

Manga Al: . (blonde hair, yellow eyes)

Now that my rant is over, you can go back to living your normal, everyday lives. :)

Anyway, CHAPTER'S REVIEW QUESTION: Ed's gotta stay somewhere, right? Maybe with _Haruhi_? What'll happen? Will there be a make-out scene? (I hope not!) MAYBE THE WORLD WILL EXPLODE BECAUSE OF TAMAKI'S BRAIN COMBUSTION?


	5. Chapter 5

o_o I actually don't have much to say at the beginning of this chapter for once! I'm sorry I suck at updating regularly. I'm such a procrastinator. _

_Fullmetal Pedigree!_

Edward counted eleven ways he could've avoided the situation he was in: sitting outside of Ouran against a pillar, all alone, wondering where the hell his brother was and why he hadn't met him outside like they had planned. He also thought about why Al would've left him all alone and what he was going to do if no one came to his rescue. He thought sleeping inside the school would be the best idea. Where, he didn't know exactly. The host club room sounded like a good option…

"Edward?" He turned around to see Haruhi walking towards him.

"Haruhi? What are you doing here so late?"

"I could ask you the same thing. I was finishing up a lab I had to finish from a day I was absent." _Hmm, studious,_ Ed thought. "Wanna tell me what you're still doing here?" She squatted down next to him, placing her bag in her lap.

"Ah…" Ed breathed, trying to think of a plausible excuse. "Al—I have no idea where he is. He just…left me here."

She made a disgruntled expression. "Why would he do something like that?"

"I don't know…"

"Well, I'm surprised you haven't found him, considering it's been a half hour since school let out…do you think he could've left without you?"

"That's my only guess—unless he's eternally lost in the school, but I doubt that—he's a smart kid." He finished his statement with a sigh.

"Well…maybe one of the other host club members took him in, I don't know. They seem like the kind of people that would do that sort of thing." She relaxed against the pillar Ed was sitting against and pulled something out of her bag.

Ed was utterly confused. What kind of futuristic device was she holding? Apparently his shock was plastered all across his face, because Haruhi said, "What's wrong? Never seen a cell phone before?" It _beep_ed as she pushed her thumb into it, and she held it up to ear. So it was like a phone, just portable. How weird. He knew he had gone into the future, but how far had he gone anyway? He opened his mouth to respond, but she was already talking. The person on the other line answered quickly. "Hello? Tamaki-_senpai_?" A scornful expression crossed his face. Considering the circumstances, he couldn't find any reason Al would go home with Tamaki. Maybe he tricked him with candy? He didn't want to believe his brother was that naïve.

"_Haruhi! How are you doing? What do you need?"_ the phone buzzed. Tamaki sounded extremely eager to please. It made him want to gag. Even after the hell Ed had given him, he could still treat Haruhi the same way he did without thinking about it.

"I'm fine…well, I'm sitting here with Ed, and we were wondering if you knew where Alphonse was."

"_Oh…he…I wouldn't know where he is. I'm sorry, Haruhi."_

"Oh, that's okay. Thanks any—" she pulled the phone away from the side of her head after a second, and announced, "He hung up. That's weird…hmm…now, let's call the twins…" she dialed another number. Something about that conversation sounded incredibly suspicious on Tamaki's part, though he couldn't quite place it. Even if he was housing Al, why would he want to keep it such a huge secret? Very peculiar.

Number after number—first the twins, then Kyoya-_senpai_, then Honey-_senpai_, then Mori-_senpai_—and still no sign of Al. Haruhi sighed in defeat, then looked at Ed and said, "How were you planning to get home anyway?"

"I was…uh…planning to walk home. My dad, he's…out of town, and…I sort of have a fear of staying home by myself…?" he lied. It sounded more like a question than a statement.

"Oh, well…" Haruhi looked at him with complete pity. "You can't stay in the school, so…I guess you'll just have to come home with me." She stood up. She said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world. Ed hadn't even thought of that option. I mean, why would he? He couldn't sleep in the same house as a girl his age he barely knew.

"But—I—" _Al would be so much better at handling this,_ he thought. "Al could be out in the middle of no where! Starving to death!"

"He ate lunch; he's not going to starve. And I'm sorry, but I don't think you're going to go out, look for him and have much success. He's probably fine."

"You said _probably_," he whined, pouting. She laughed.

"He _is_ fine. Now, will you stop being immature and follow me to my house?"

"Like a dog?" he asked, pretending to be offended.

She rolled her eyes. "You know what I mean," she said, sounding annoyed, but she still smiled. _She sure has some smile,_ Ed thought, without even flinching. He got up and started to chase her. She laughed at him again

Whether he wanted to admit it or not, Edward had made a friend at Ouran Academy.

_Fullmetal Pedigree!_

They had been working on homework in complete silence for about fifteen minutes until Tamaki's cell phone went off. (Long story short, he had found out what a cell phone was when his classmate sitting next to him in class was leaning back in his chair and punching his fingers into one. The teacher had called him up for his "cell phone," and he put two-and-two together and figured it out.) They both stared at it for a second, and once Tamaki realized who it was, he flipped it open and began talking. "Hello?...Haruhi! How are you? What do you need?" he splurged enthusiastically. He didn't really know where Tamaki and Haruhi's relationship stood. He thought about what Tamaki had screamed at him just earlier that day, but now he was acting like nothing ever happened. He was confused.

His face quickly shifted from jubilee to horror in a mere second. Al was definitely confused. "Oh…he…I wouldn't know where he is. I'm sorry, Haruhi," he said nervously, then closed his phone, putting his hand on his desk.

"So, that was Haruhi?" Al asked, deciding to ignore his visible worrying.

"Yes, that was Haruhi," he said calmly and evenly

"What did she need?" Al asked out of curiosity, but he also guessed that's what had Tamaki so worked up.

"Oh…" he muttered, distant. Then he snapped back, making Al jump slightly. "Oh!" he exclaimed. "She…just wondered what I was doing this weekend."

"Oh!" That made sense now. But he was still kind of confused. Why had he said, "I wouldn't know where he was"? He decided what Tamaki wasn't telling him was personal.

"Are you hungry?" Tamaki suggested suddenly. "We have everything you could ever want!"

"Ah…no, I'm not hungry right now," he said, smiling, getting back to his work.

Tamaki frowned. "I know you haven't eaten since lunch, and it is my duty as a host to feed and entertain you."

"Really, I'm not hungry."

Not eating for four years had definitely shrunk his stomach and entire digestive system. He was just now getting used to eating a meal without puking; it was too much for him to put down. He was going to be questioned by everyone at Ouran about his eating habits until he got used to eating a normal capacity of food, but there was nothing he could do about that.

"Well, I am," he announced, standing up boldly. "And you're coming with me," he finished with a malicious smile.

"Fine," Al muttered, defeated, taking his books and homework off his lap to follow "Master Tamaki" down the stairs.

"It seemed like it took forever to get to the kitchen. On the way, Al had a persistent question in his head: which was more decorative: Ouran Academy or the Suoh's second estate? He couldn't decide, but forgot about it once they arrived in the kitchen.

It was HUGE. But that was no surprise to find a big kitchen in a big household—but still. It looked like an industrial kitchen, with the huge oven and double-door refrigerator and stainless steel everywhere in sight. A line up of food—mostly sweets—sat in a row on a long island in the middle of the kitchen, and Al supposed it was set up just for Tamaki.

"Like I said, we have everything you could ever want!" Tamaki exclaimed, making Alphonse jump.

"Umm…" he hummed nervously.

Al is still not sure what happened. He was thinking about his small stomach plus lots of sweets equals puking. Then, all of a sudden, he was eating all sorts of sweets. He had never eaten such good food in his life, even before he lost his body. His mother was an amazing cook, it was just…in rural Risembool, there are no expensive, ridiculously-sugary sweets. He could claim that half the stuff he was eating was pure sugar, but he didn't care. But after a while, Al had a bad feeling—in his stomach.

"Please—excuse—me," he managed to choke out before he ran for the nearest bathroom. Problem was, he didn't know where the nearest bathroom _was_, and finding one in this sort of situation proved to make itself difficult. That plan didn't work out so well.

He was on the right side of the stairwell when his protesting digestive system won over him. And it wasn't just once. He just kept going at it. How much food had he eaten, anyway? It was so bad, his eyes started watering—which would've looked like he was crying to anyone that saw him—and he felt like he was going to die. After he was done, he collapsed, conveniently avoiding the puke, but instead landing and hitting his head on the staircase. Surprisingly, he was still conscious and came out unharmed. (He probably had a bruise from the stairs, but that wasn't anything too serious.) He coughed horribly probably for another minute, but only because his throat strung—plus, it tasted horrendous.

Al instantly had a scenario in his head planned out. Tamaki was nice and all, but he was born into a rich family and he was going to kick him out as soon as he saw the puke and the semi-conscious being. There was absolutely no doubt in this mind that that was his fate. He didn't even have a chance to be sad about it; he was already thinking of what he was going to do. His first objective was to find Ed, find a place to sleep…

…What? What was going on? Was…Tamaki carrying him?

Before he even knew what was happening, he felt some sateen fabric under his hands and his hair being let down. He would've questioned it, but the vomiting made him so weak that he decided to just rest. He eventually fell asleep.

_Fullmetal Pedigree!_

When Alphonse groaned awake, it was dark outside—much darker than it was before he had…fallen asleep? Passed out? He wasn't sure what exactly he had done. The room was completely dark, except for the night sky shining through the window and Tamaki's aqua lamp dimly lit. He was in the master's bed. The blonde second-year himself was sitting at that oak desk, finishing up homework, Al guessed.

"Ahh! I didn't mean it!" he shrieked automatically. Why hadn't he kicked him out? He probably would've kicked out any pretty-much-stranger that puked on _his_ carpet. Well, if _had_ a carpet.

Tamaki jumped and swirled around in his swivel chair, stunned. He hadn't gotten a warning of Al waking up. "What do you mean?" he asked.

"Vomiting…on your carpet…I'm sorry…"

His expression suddenly got extremely serious. He approached Al, knelt down by his bedside, and looked into his eyes. "Alphonse…why didn't you tell me you were allergic to sugar?"

_Huh? _was the first thing that popped into Al's mind. "What do you mean?"

He looked surprised again. "Well, that's the only excuse for you throwing up that much after eating those sweets."

He shook his head. Was he kidding or was he really that stupid? "I'm not allergic to sugar. Actually, I don't think that's possible…I just ate too fast, that's all." Of course, that was a lie.

"Oh." Tamaki blinked. "Just don't let me do that to you again. My grandmother will probably kill me when she finds out," he said, turning around and walking back to his desk. "By the way, you can sleep in my bed for tonight, if you want."

"Oh, no! I shouldn't impose!"

"You're not imposing, because I told you you could. I'm not taking no for an answer." _Does this guy_ ever_ take no for an answer? _"Just go back to sleep. You need your rest after having such a big fit like that." He went back to his homework.

Al decided that protesting wasn't going to help much. He shut his eyes and fell back asleep within five minutes.

_Fullmetal Pedigree!_

About the whole thing with Al's stomach "shrinking": That is the only reasoning I have for my own condition. I now go without eating lunch at school; only a small breakfast and medium-sized dinner every day. (And _don't_ call me anorexic, because I'm _not_. It'll just make you sound stupid because it obviously means you don't know the real definition of anorexia.) I've gotten used to it, but a few years back I probably wouldn't have survived without eating lunch—or at least feeling like I was gonna die or something. I've come to the conclusion that my stomach has shrunk, since I know that obese people have a condition where they can eat so much and still be hungry because they have huge stomachs.

Just some after-thoughts—One: "[Al's puking scene is as] lovely as a field of flowers." – Kayla :3, and two: I will seriously shoot myself if this story ends up being AlxTamaki.

ANYWAY—review, review, and review! But I don't have to tell you to do _that_, now do I? Because you're a good little reader, and you know that you should review when you finish reading a chapter of a fanfiction! ^-^


	6. Chapter 6

I was sick today, so I wrote most of this between 12PM and now. Since I wasn't distracted by my friends texting me, it was much easier for me to write. I hope you guys enjoy the unexpected and early (for me) update.

I've realized, through writing, that I hate odd numbers. For example, if my latest chapter is an odd number (like last chapter) it feels extremely off and I have to get the next one up as soon as possible. I'm a huge perfectionist, so maybe that has something to do with it…if that made any sense.

_Fullmetal Pedigree!_

"So, you really weren't kidding when you said that you're a commoner going to Ouran on a scholarship…?" Edward asked nervously. Even though Haruhi had told him her basic back-story, he was still surprised to see her basic apartment complex. He climbed the stairs behind her up to the second floor, the one she lived on.

"Yeah…did you think I was lying?"

"Uh…no! Of course not! It just seemed a _little_ unbelievable…" She didn't get a chance to answer, because she was already at the door, unlocking it. Ed tried to brace himself for what was behind that door, whatever it was.

…It was a perfectly normal house. So why was the blonde still so worked up?

"Please, take off your shoes," she asked of him while kicking off her's. He would've asked why he had to do that, but he probably would just seem like a complete outsider again. It was already bad enough that he had to sleep in the same _house_ as her, where he would have to try even harder to keep his secret under-wraps.

Ed took off his right shoe, but as he began to take off his left one, he realized something. _Oh, crap! Automail! _his mind exclaimed. How was he going to get out of this one?

"Um…I'm sorry Haruhi, but..." _Look for a plausible excuse, look for a plausible excuse… _"…it's against my religion to take off my left shoe." That's_ what you call a plausible excuse?!_

She looked shocked to say the least, but she seemed to accept it. "Oh…well, then…I guess it's okay then…" She blinked a few times. At the same time, Ed was relieved that she bought it, but at the same time questioned how smart she actually was. When someone says "it's against my religion," ninety-nine percent of the time it's a lie. He didn't want to believe Haruhi was that stupid.

"Um…" Haruhi began, probably still shocked by the religion comment, "so, how was your first day at Ouran?"

"Good," he said brightly. He didn't even lie this time. Having your brother knocked unconscious and becoming part of the most idiotic school club ever can be horrendous, but getting back at Tamaki had made his day. (His only regret was that he couldn't use all of his strength on him, for he had to use his left hand while he is right-handed.)

"That's…good." Things suddenly got about ten times more awkward. After a few moments of silence, Haruhi proposed that they work on homework until it was time for a dinner. Edward agreed.

He started with Chemistry. As much as he loved chemistry, he already knew more than a high school course could ever teach him—and he was confident in that—so the class was going to be extremely easy, if not to the point of it being annoyingly so. He found it funny that most, if not all, of the things in his homework he had learned before he was twelve years old.

While he worked, he couldn't help but mutter things and draw transmutation circles on the margins of his paper. After a few minutes, Haruhi looked over his shoulder, (she sat on the side of the table adjacent to his side) and asked, "What_ is_ your religion anyway?"

Oh, right. He was in the parallel universe that didn't make advances in alchemy, therefore very few people knew about it unless they had researched it for some reason. His harmless scribbles probably looked like satanic symbols to her.

"Oh, that isn't part of my religion…" he started to erase away the transmutation circles.

"Then what are they?"

"Um…I don't like to talk about it…" That statement was actually more than half way true.

"That's understandable," she said simply, and went back to work. That left Ed confused. _Wait, that's it? That's all I had to say to make her stop talking about it?_ He tried not to dwell on that thought too long and went back to work when all the transmutation circles had been fully erased.

For the next hour or so, they worked in complete silence. Once Haruhi looked at the clock, she said, "Oh. It's time for dinner." She got up and started getting things out of the refrigerator and setting up pans. "Hey Edward, does chicken and rice sound good?"

"Um…sure…" He had never thought chicken and rice could be a combination, but it didn't sound bad, for he had tried chicken and rice separately before. But that wasn't the main question on his mind. "Um…why are _you_ making the dinner? No offense or anything…"

"Oh! My mom died when I was six years old, so I've adopted most of the household chores since then. I like cooking and using my mom's recipes, and seeing them come out right and making my dad happy…"

"…Well that sounds like something we have in common."

"Huh?" That was not what she was expecting to hear.

"My mom died when I was about ten or so. Though, my dad—" he clenched his fist around itself "—I don't need to do anything to make that bastard happy," he muttered with venom.

"Why? What happened with him?"

"He left me, my mom, and Al. He _killed _her…she pretended like everything was okay around me and Al, but she just got so sad that she—" He had to calm down before he exploded—or cried. He could _not_ cry in front of Haruhi. He loosened his clenched fist. "I just hate him."

"But…don't you live with him?"

He perked up, and realized that he_ had_ said he and Al were living with their dad now. Had Haruhi overheard when he was telling that to Unnamed Girls A, B, and C? He had to come up with a good excuse, and quick, as to not sound suspicious. (This time, he hoped that it didn't involve religion.) "I am. He finally came back around a year ago; but obviously, that was after our mom was long dead. That bastard…I mean, he came back, acting like he had raised us, even though he had been gone nearly our entire lives! _And_ he insisted on us living with him! I _still_ hate him!"

"I'm sorry…" Ed thought that was going to be all she said, until she added, "…that you feel like you have to lie to me."

"What?!"_ But…but how?! How did she see through me?!_

"Well, it's obvious you don't hate your dad, you and I both know that."

I silent sigh of relief escaped. "What do you mean? Of course I hate him!"

She shook her head no. "I may not know you that well yet, but I can tell you don't hate him. You secretly just long for him to have been there and it hurt you that he wasn't."

"That's no secret. It hurt me _so _much…but that doesn't mean I can't hate him."

She just smiled and turned back to her cooking. "Ed, you don't get it…"

_What the hell did she mean by that? Of course I hate him! Or…do I? _Ed began to wonder. Had he really been lying to himself about his hatred for his father this entire time? What Haruhi said had really begun to make him think. He tried to keep working on his homework. Now he was working on Algebra II, which was also incredibly easy for him.

After a few minutes, Haruhi finally broke the silence by saying, "By the way, don't worry about my dad. He said he's on a business trip for the whole weekend."

"What job does your dad have anyway?" Ed questioned. He had just realized that Haruhi hadn't mentioned her dad's occupation beforehand.

"Oh, he works at an_ okama_ bar," she said plainly.

"A _what_ kind of bar?!" Japanese culture was proving itself difficult to comprehend.

"Oh, right, you're a foreigner. It's basically a transvestite bar."

"Trans…vestite?" Ed blinked. _Aren't those the women that aren't women at all but are actually men dressing up as women?!_ That thought suddenly made him very nervous and anxious.(1) "H-h-he's a…?"

"Cross-dresser? Is that so hard to believe?" Haruhi acted as if it was perfectly normal and she had no idea why Ed was so shocked. _Just what kind of country is Japan anyway?!_

"Doesn't that mean that your dad is actually your mom?!"(2)

"Um…no, my mom is my mom, and my dad is my dad."

"I…I…Is that even right?!"

"Edward, are you okay?" _Are you even sane?! You just told me your dad is a tranny and you're acting completely normal!_

"Y-yeah…I'm fine…" he said, blinking. "Is there anything _else_ you might want to tell me?"

"Um…no…"

"Good," he spit out, and went back to his work, though he had trouble once again. Haruhi was turning out to be quite more complicated than at first glance.

After a few more minutes, Haruhi placed a plate in front of him of chicken and rice. It looked and smelled delicious. He looked up, and she just gave him a sympathetic smile. She sat down in her spot with her plate. They ate in silence, except for once when Ed murmured "this is good." She had murmured "thank you" in response.

After they were done eating, Ed demanded to know where he was supposed to sleep. The food hadn't made his mood any better. Haruhi informed him he would be sleeping on the futon in the living area, all while smiling. As he got up and moved to the living room, he wondered, _I'm being such a son of a bitch to her—so why the hell is she still smiling?_

_Fullmetal Pedigree!_

It wasn't long until Edward fell asleep. Conveniently, Haruhi was done with her food approximately at the same time he fell asleep. She decided to take advantage of the situation by seeing what was up with his left foot that he didn't want her to see. (She didn't believe that "it's against my religion" comment for a second, even if she had implied that she did.) She wondered if it was the same reason he wouldn't take off his gloves.

She quietly dropped down to her knees when she got near Ed and crawled the rest of the way. She skillfully untied and slipped off Ed's left shoe effortlessly. His foot looked…unusual, to say the least, but she would have to take off his sock before she was fully satisfied. She slipped it off slowly to find a…metal foot.

She covered her mouth and eyes widened as she dropped the sock next to his foot—if that was his foot at all. _What the—?! Is that even possible?! _She started going into hysterics. Before she left, she had to take his gloves off to see if it was the same deal—and she guessed she was right. She slowly put his sock then shoe back on without making Ed stir once. She crawled up the short distance to his head, and removed his left glove. Nothing—it was flesh. That was a relief. But when she took off his right glove, it was the same thing: a hand made of metal.

Somehow, it had made her mad. Whether he knew it or not, she was opening up to him faster than she had probably done with anyone before, and he had straight out lied to her about…about _everything_ probably.

She breathed out deeply, trying to cope with the new discovery. She thought she saw Ed's eyelids twitch, so she bounded to her room.

_Fullmetal Pedigree!_

Something had woken Ed up, whatever it was. He caught a glimpse of Haruhi running to her room, and he realized his gloves were off and his left shoe was tighter than it was before, meaning it had been retied.

_So, now you know, Haruhi…_

And for some reason, he trusted her to keep his secret.

_Fullmetal Pedigree!_

(1) I love how Ed is acting like a homophobe here, though in my other stories he's gay. XD

(2) DIDN'T YOU THINK THAT WHEN YOU FOUND OUT HER DAD WAS A CROSS-DRESSER?! I know I did!

_Fullmetal Pedigree!_

OMGOMGOMG. So what do you guys think? Do you think it's too early for anyone to know about Ed's secret? : I dunnoooo.

So…I guess there's not a CHAPTER'S REVIEW QUESTION, since I can't think of one, so just tell me what you guys thought.


	7. Chapter 7

YAYYY~ I WROTE~ As you can see, I am thoroughly excited about this chapter. I don't have much to say, except for I'm sorry for the wait as usual, and I hope you enjoy! ^-^

XXX

Kyoya woke up to the blindingly cheerful light pouring in through his consuming windows. It was like this most days. It acted like an alarm clock on school days, but it bothered him profusely on weekends when it wasn't necessary to be woken up at eight in the morning, like today. Why he didn't have black-out curtains by now, he wasn't exactly sure, though he knew he asked himself that _every_ weekend.

He climbed out of bed, for by now he realized it was futile to try and hide from the sun's rays through his bed sheets because the sadist rays would _make_ him get up eventually. Anyway, breakfast was awaiting him. For any normal citizen, they would look forward to having a gourmet breakfast every morning. But Kyoya had grown up eating a gourmet breakfast — hell, a gourmet_ everything _— every day, just like the rest of Ouran. You could say they were spoiled.

But even though the sun's blinding rays and gourmet breakfast were the same, Kyoya woke up with a different state of mind. The kind of state of mind that said "I'm going to beat the hell out of Edward Elric as soon as possible." I mean, yeah, I would be pissed too if some random kid made everyone think my best friend was gay (even though he was most obviously not, but almost everyone at Ouran would believe anything,) and proceeded to punch him in the face. Who the hell did he think he was?

Kyoya rarely got angry. Anger wasn't good for Kyoya, he knew that. _Bad _things happened when he got angry – he knew that too.

But Kyoya didn't have blind anger to a point. He noticed things. He noticed more things than the average person does, or should. Like Edward's hand usage. For example, Kyoya noticed that Ed is right-handed, but he punched Tamaki with his left hand. Plus the fact that he wore white gloves. And the way his steps are always slightly, just slightly, uneven. And other strange, strange things that is just one too many to make Kyoya suspicious.

Suspicious of what, he wasn't sure.

After breakfast, he wondered what he was going to do today. Maybe he would call Tamaki up and they could do something. It was usually what he did on weekends. Actually, he never hung out with the other host club members unless as a group. He could only imagine what would happen if he tried to spend the day with the twins or Honey and Mori without Tamaki. He didn't know why, he just…Tamaki was his best friend, so it made sense. At least he thought so.

He didn't have to wait long. His familiar, generic ringer went off approximately at the same time he walked into his room coming from breakfast. He calmly picked the phone off his desk, glanced at the caller's ID even though he knew all too well who it was, flipped it open and said, "Hello?"

"Gooood morning, Kyoya!" the familiar voice rung inside his skull.

"Hello, Tamaki."

"Hey, I was thinking, we could do something today, but, someone has to come with us." There were lots of stops and starts in his speech and he wasn't being specific – he was nervous.

"Okay, who is it?"

"Well, you won't believe this, but I got Alphonse Elric spending the weekend with me!" _Elric._ That one word seemed to amplify in his eardrum. Of course he knew who he was – he was Edward Elric's younger brother, first-year Alphonse Elric, also known as Al. "So he has to come."

"Well, fine." Of course, it wasn't fine. What the hell was Tamaki doing flirting with the enemy?! "Where shall we go?"

"Does a movie sound okay? Al wants to see a movie." Oh god, he was even on a first-name basis with the enemy.

"Sounds great. What movie will we see?"

"I don't know, we'll figure it out when we get there. Bring money."

"You know I always do."

"We'll see you there at 10."

"All right." That was their usual time –_ their_ usual time, Kyoya-Tamaki usual time. Not Kyoya-Tamaki-and-Alphonse usual time. They exchanged good-byes quickly, and Kyoya shut his phone. Now he was flirting with the enemy, too.

XX

When Kyoya pulled up, he saw Tamaki and Alphonse chatting it up right outside their local movie theatre. His driver came around from him and he walked out, acting like he was full of esteem. "Be back by noon," he told the driver.

"Yes, Mr. Otori." The driver bowed, went back into the limo and drove off.

"Ah, Kyoya-kun, you're here!" Tamaki called all so fondly. "You two have not had a formal introduction, have you?"

"Um, no. Alphonse Elric. You probably know my brother, Edward? He's in your class, Tamaki said…" So he was one of those people that talked a lot when they got nervous. He held out his hand, though it was the wrong one. I'm sure he felt pressured to act formal around all those rich, polite kids.

"I know. Kyoya Otori," he said, holding out the correct hand, and waited. Alphonse soon caught on, brought up his right hand and put the other one down, and shook Kyoya's hand. He had a weak grip, Kyoya observed. "Do you have money?" he asked once their unnecessary introduction was over with.

"Umm…"

"I'm paying for him. I am his host, after all," Tamaki responded. That was _such_ a Tamaki thing to do.

"Ah, I see. Well, I have my own money."

"I knew you would. Now, c'mon!" They approached the ticket booth.

At first, it was decided that Alphonse would pick out the movie, since it was the host-ly thing to do. Though Al shortly thereafter admitted that he had never heard of any of these movies, hence couldn't decide which one to pick. Tamaki then took the liberty of deciding the movie. While he did that, Kyoya decided to take this time to interrogate Al.

"So, where are you from, Alphonse?" Kyoya asked calmly, yet Al jumped all the same.

"Germany," he replied quickly.

"Ah, I've been there before. Beautiful place. What town did you live in?"

"Um, um, um…Munich." That was incredibly strange. Why did he say the country so easily but struggle with his own town's name?

"Ah, I see. Have you seen landmarks like the Brandenburg Gate or the Cologne Cathedral?"

"Um…yeah, of course." Kyoya could detect a liar a mile away. He was straight out lying about all of it. As if it wasn't totally obvious, he didn't even have a German accent. But why would he do that? Where was he from, _really_?

"That's great," Kyoya said with his signature smile. He decided to pretend to go along with it for now.

"I want to become a host," Al said suddenly, which surprised even Kyoya.

He couldn't help but ask, "Why?"

"Because…I need to keep an eye on Ed somehow. I mean, I'm sure you saw what happened yesterday with him, Haruhi, and Tamaki, and then…what happened afterwards…I can't have him doing that – the entire school will end up turning against him. Without me around, he gets out of control, as you saw. So please. I need to become a host."

Now _this_ was something he seemed confident about. "Do you know what it takes to be a host?"

"I was talking to Tamaki about it. He believes any guy can be a host." Yes, that was definitely Tamaki. "He said I could do it, but I'd have to ask you for it to be final."

"Well, I'm sure if Tamaki said it was okay, I guess it's okay."

"Oh, thank you! You won't be sorry!"

Kyoya then thought of a way to make sure he was positive he wanted to be a host. "One thing first."

"Anything!"

"Cut the mullet." (He obviously didn't really know what a mullet actually was, since Al doesn't _have_ a mullet – he just thought it was long hair on a guy.) Al's face paled. Bingo.

"Wha? But why?"

"It may have been different where you used to live, but here, girls think that guys with long hair are dirty and not worth their time. You'll have to cut it off."

"But Ed—"

"I will ask him to also cut his hair."

"Well…if it's what I have to do, I guess I'll do it."

It took a second for Kyoya to process that. He said _what_? "You'll do it?"

"Yes, of course. If that's what it takes."

"…So you're really serious about this?"

"Yes, of course!"

"Guys, I got the tickets! Let's go!"

They all walked into the theatre together. You know, for being the brother of the person that he was sincerely angry with at the moment, Alphonse wasn't so bad.

XX

The movie ended up being a cheesy romantic comedy. That tended to happen when Tamaki got to pick the movie, which was almost always. He had always been a hopeless romantic.

Al ended up sitting in the middle, with Kyoya on his right and Tamaki on his left. He asked all sorts of questions on how to become a host, and of course, they were all answered.

After some silence, Al quietly said, "I wonder where Ed is…"

"You mean you don't know where he is?" Kyoya asked.

"No…I really hope he's okay."

"One of the host club members is most likely taking care of him."

"See, that's what I said!"

"Wow. You guys must be pretty close-knit to believe that, huh?"

"Of course! The host club is like my family!" Tamaki enthused.

"You have no idea how literally he means that," Kyoya stated with a laugh.

"I wish I had something like that…I mean, I have Ed, but he's the only person I really had…we used to have this friend, Winry, that we had known our whole lives…she was upset that we were leaving…" he recalled the memory with a nostalgic smile. "She was like our family in every single way…I miss her."

_Must've slept with her,_ Kyoya thought.

The previews began and the trio was silenced.

XXX

I don't really like this chapter. Hopefully next one will be much better. And please, don't think the last part actually means something. I just put it in there to make the chapter longer. ^^;

I know this probably sounds pathetic, but I need people to R&R on my latest one-shot, _One Night, Two Lives_. Yes, I'm aware the title is incredibly cheesy, but it's not what you think it is at all. It's an FMA one-shot, as usual. Please, humor me and go review it. :D


	8. Chapter 8

So yeah, I'm a terrible person for saying that I'm going off hiatus and then making you wait forever anyway for the next chapter. I know that. But trust me, I had this chapter written months ago! I just never typed it up. : Things have been a little hard lately and some days I have to struggle just to hold it together, so I apologize for the delay.

And this doesn't even progress with the story! I realized after writing it that I had already written basically the same events, so this chapter is just replacing chapter 8. I like how this one progresses better anyway.

So, without further ado, chapter 8b, if you will. :)

* * *

It was Monday morning, which was actually a lot less dramatic than you think it would've been when you actually hear what happened.

The Ouran Host Club was called to a special early meeting before school. Tamaki urgently contacted all the hosts late last night, demanding they come to said meeting. All the members showed up—out of curiosity, if nothing else. However, Haruhi always came to school at that early time anyway, so she didn't even bother letting Ed know.

Ed woke up to the smell of a deluxe breakfast. "Those amazing Japanese girls and their amazing cooking…" he thought. Vaguely he wondered if this was what having a wife was like. But when he thought about it, he chuckled to himself, because Winry was a horrible cook.

He crawled out of his temporary bed to the _kotasu_. A cold front came in the night before so the heater underneath the table was actually turned on. Ed was pleasantly surprised by the coziness the heat provided him with.

Haruhi was making omelets today, stuffed with almost every omelet stuffing possible and many herbs. Many people would not appreciate this kind of cuisine, but Haruhi soon realized that Ed was not picky about his food unless it was milk.

As soon as the plate clicked the table in front of Ed, he said, "Mmm, thanks! I'm sooo hungry!" and began to scarf it down. A minute or so later when Haruhi sat down with her omelet, Ed was taking his last bite.

Ed looked up at the clock on the opposite wall idly. When he realized what time it was, his eyes widened. "What's wrong?" Haruhi asked.

"I gotta go back to bed." He quickly crawled back to where he had been sleeping and wrapped the sheets tightly around himself laying down, facing away from the light.

"What? Why?"

"It's gotta be a sin to get up this early."

"But I always wake up at this time for school."

"That's not right! That's…that's sick!"

Haruhi chuckled to herself while she finished up her breakfast.

* * *

An hour or so later, they were now walking to school. Haruhi was ready for school—clean, uniform on, bag ready, and lunch packed. Edward, however, barely managed to put his uniform on and pull his hair back.

"By the way, Tamaki called me last night and said to come to some early morning meeting."

"Ugh. I gotta see that bastard first thing in the morning? What is this meeting even about?"

"He wouldn't say."

"_Really_? Then I don't think it's even worth going."

"I don't see why we shouldn't since we're already going to be at school anyway. Besides, I already said we would be there and I don't break my promises."

Ed sighed—a sign of defeat—and continued walking, the academy now in sight.

* * *

Tamaki and Alphonse arrived to the clubroom nice and early, though Kyoya was there before them, already doing vice presidential-treasuratorial(1) things that vice president-treasurers. "_Bonjour_, Kyoya."(2) Tamaki greeted.

"Hello, Tamaki—Alphonse," he greeted back, not even looking up from this laptop. Al did not make his presence verbally known.

Tamaki got a pot of "commoner's coffee" going and sat on one of the obnoxiously pink couches. Al awkwardly sat across from him, and looked over at Kyoya while fiddling with his ponytail.

Honestly, the younger Elric was glad to get out of the Suoh second estate. He was not used to the extreme luxury, what with being primarily nomadic from a particularly young age—not to mention puking his guts out on the legendary shag carpet on the first night did nothing for his comfort level. Though, being at an equally luxurious place was not nearly as bad as Tamaki's household, probably since he knew his brother would show up soon.

"How did this club even start?" Al questioned suddenly, trying to keep things from getting too awkward. It was a spur of the moment question that he wasn't expecting much of an answer to, but he couldn't think of anything better to say.

"Well…" Tamaki started, slightly surprised by the random question. "I moved here from France in eight grade, and my first friend was Kyoya here. He hated me at first—thought I was annoying. But somehow, I eventually won him over with my charm." Al shot a brief glance at Kyoya to see if he would be making any notion to approve or deny this claim. He showed no emotion on his face. He figured that the claim was either true or he had just heard Tamaki tell the story so many times that he didn't even bother reacting. "We recruited Honey, Mori, and the twins. It was hard, but by the time we were all in high school, we had formed this club. Haruhi joined a couple of months ago to repay a debt, just like your brother."

"I see. But…why'd you do it?"

"I…wanted to make people happy."

Right after he stated this, Haruhi walked into the room with Edward trailing behind her.

"Brother!"

"Hey, Al!" They smiled at each other, but that was the extent of their greeting. They had been separated for much longer amounts of time in much more dangerous circumstances, so they were used to it by now.(3)

Ed sat beside Al, and Haruhi stood behind Tamaki's couch. "Haruhi! Are you okay?" Tamaki questioned with a sense of urgency.

"Uh…yeah?" She couldn't imagine what could be wrong with her.

"Really? Are you sure?"

"Yeah…why wouldn't I be?"

"Having a sleepover with a boy your age is so scary! You don't know what he could've done to you! Did he do anything to you?" Unexpectedly, he pulled out his bear, Kuma-chan, out of no where for a reference. "Show Daddy where he touched you with Kuma-chan!"(4)

Edward was irritated. Alphonse was appalled. Haruhi expected it.

"I'm _fine_, Tamaki-_senpai_. Nothing happened."

She walked around the couch he was sitting on and sat in one of the chairs at the small café-esque table with Kyoya on his laptop to look over her homework.

Just then, the twins walked in, Kaoru holding the door open for Hikaru.

"Kaoru! Hikaru! Don't you think it's scary for girls to spend the night with boys?"

"What are you getting at, Tamaki-_senpai_?" Hikaru questioned.

"Nothing," Haruhi remarked.

"Oh, Haruhi, why are you so mean? Why are you so much to Daddy?"

"For God's sake, she's not your daughter."

Everyone looked in the direction of where the voice came from: Edward. Even Kyoya looked up. Ed didn't know it, but there was unspoken rule that you didn't question Tamaki's bizarre assumptions about the host club being his family, especially his fatherhood over Haruhi. It was just something you didn't say.

"…Should we leave?" Kaoru murmured empathetically.

Tamaki's eyes were slightly glassy when he looked into Ed's starts of eyes, his lips pursed together. "No, that won't be necessary." He got up from where he was sitting, turned around, and walked into the locker room.

"What a pussy," Edward said once Tamaki was out of earshot, not that he cared if he heard or not.

"That wasn't necessary," Haruhi interjected venomously.

"Yeah…that wasn't cool," Kaoru added.

"Even thought it was uncalled for, he won't retain any damage. Once Honey and Mori get here, he'll be back to his usual self. It'll be as if Edward said nothing," mediated Kyoya, again only making eye contact with his computer screen. "But like Haruhi said, that was _not_ necessary." As much of a mediator as Kyoya was, Tamaki was his best friend and the fact that Ed hurt his feelings, as honestly as Tamaki would bounce back, he could still be angry with him.

No one else said anything, but the silence was deadly. While thinking about it, Ed realized that if he had said the same thing his first day, he wouldn't have given a damn about what any of them thought. But after spending the weekend with Haruhi, he _did_ care what they thought…or at least, what _she_ thought.

A few minutes later, Honey and Mori arrived and the twins notified Tamaki. No one informed the cousins what had happened.

"Ouran Host Club! I have gathered you here today to talk about a very important event coming up in the next few days." Tamaki placed himself strategically in the room so everyone could retain this important announcement.

"The spring school festival is coming, and for the first time ever, we have been asked to do an event for it! So, we need to decide on what event we shall have. Any ideas?" People started talking amongst themselves, which was to be expected of.

"What do you think, brother?" Al questioned Ed meekly.

"I don't know," Ed responded, still thinking only of what happened about fifteen minutes ago.

Everyone shot out extremely cliché ideas that you would see in any school anime. Tamaki pulled a white board on wheels seemingly out of no where(5) and started writing all the ideas down. Ideas such as turning the host club room into a movie theatre or holding a sweet taste-testing session (guess who's idea that was) came out on top. After much conversing, they were ready to cast a vote, until Ed stopped him with one last idea.

"What about a dating game?"

Everyone looked at him. No one knew what he was talking about.

"You know…you get a bachelorette and three contestants, hide the contestants' faces, and the bachelorette asks the contestants questions like "Where would you take me on a date?" and all the hosts give an answer. Then based on the answers the girl chooses a host. It's just for fun."

"I…like that idea," one of the twins said.

"Yeah!" Honey exclaimed.

"That _does_ sound like a good idea…" Kyoya spoke quietly.

"Okay. Who votes for that idea?" Tamaki asked.

Everyone raised their hand, making the vote unanimous.

"So we'll go with the dating game idea!" Tamaki replied enthusiastically. He turned the white board around to the blank side, and wrote largely in red marker, "The Ouran Academy Host Club presents…The Ouran Host Club Spectacular Dating Game: Spring Festival Edition!" Everyone cheered, except for Ed, who merely half-smiled, and somehow made eye-contact with Tamaki, who smiled largely back at him.

* * *

01: Yes, I realized that treasuratorial is not a word. :P

02: Funny thing is, I wrote this specific part in French class. :P

03: I'd be referring to the manga here. If you notice, later on in the manga Ed and Al are rarely together! I guess this doesn't really make sense since this is anime-based, but whatev's.

04: One of my boyfriend's many, many overused jokes is "Show me where he touched you with a doll." I'm pretty sure it's a Robot Chicken reference or something like that.

* * *

Eh, proofreading over this chapter makes it seem a lot shorter than I initially thought. :/

So what do you guys think? Reviews = love.


	9. Chapter 9

I'M NOT DEAD! I PROMISE!

My spring break is coming to a close (D:), so I decided I should finish typing this up before I went back to school.

And I think I should have everyone know that Shooting Star Rider has been harassing and threatening me since mid-February for an update. You should probably thank them for me updating now instead of later.

Anyway, here's chapter 09.

* * *

By lunch time, Music Room #3 had miraculously transformed into "The Ouran Academy Host Club Dating Game: Spring Festival Edition," with a neon sign and everything. It looked like the room had literally been turned into a set for a cheesy dating game show that played reruns at three in the morning because no one wanted to watch it. The accuracy was amazing, considering that the people who obviously designed the room didn't even know what a dating game was before this morning (unless designers did all of Ouran's host club's room decorating for them, which would make a lot of sense now that I think about it.) Even Edward Elric was impressed, though he thought it was a bit of overkill—then again, so was everything the host club did.

Ed made his way into the host club room, almost anticipating today's host club activities (key word being almost,) when he saw this amazing feat. Before he could even murmur a word of amazement to himself, Tamaki approached him.

"Ah, Edward! What do you think of my rendition of the dating game theme?"

After what happened on Saturday and this morning, he was being awful civil—almost sickeningly so.

"Uh…yeah. It's pretty good."

"Yay! I know if you like it, then it's perfect!" And with that, he scurried off.

Okay, you weren't supposed to be _that_ civil to someone that temporarily convinced everyone in the school that you were gay, nearly punched the daylight out of you, _and_ questioned your judgment on personal matters such as the supposed love of your life. Not to mention that just this morning said person upset you beyond words. Damn, this guy must've been socially retarded or…or…

Across the room, Tamaki smiled at Edward and invited him over to where the other hosts gathered with a wave of his hand.

No. He was just stupid.

Ed paced over to the other hosts including Alphonse, who appeared to be having some sort of meeting.

Tamaki proceeded to tell the hosts of how host club time was going to go down today, with Kyoya interjecting a few vital details here and there about the hour, but Ed was too distracted by Tamaki's behavior to pay attention to his little speech. Honestly, he was kinda pissed. What kind of guy just let someone be that cruel to him? It didn't make any sense, not that most things Tamaki did made sense. But he did catch the end of Tamaki's speech because he was looking directly at him.

"And Edward, I thought you would be one of the first bachelors since this dating game idea was your's."

When Ed had suggested the idea, he didn't even think _he_ would be one of the bachelors.

"Uh…thank you," he murmured.

Basically, Tamaki had decided to give the girls a taste of what the Spring Festival was going to be like. "A sneak-peek, if you will." Everyone found the idea to be great—and even if they didn't it's not like they really had a choice now.

Once the door officially opened, the females rushed in and they all "ooo"-ed and "ahh"-ed over the new decorations and the neon sign and overall shininess of it all (this was to be expected of since everyone knows the female population is obsessed with shininess(1) even though none of them knew what was going on.

Ladies, gather around." Tamaki's voice easily carried through the room to all the young ladies' ears and they scurried over to his resting spot. While the tall pedigreed blonde elaborated on the day's events with the other hosts standing nearby and the girls surrounding him, Ed and Al sat nearly all the way across the room.

"…and we will pick the bachelorettes by picking a name out of a hat, and I'm positive each one of you young ladies will have the chance to have your turn today. From this experience, I hope you bring your other non-host club member customers during the Spring Festival!" As soon as he finished, the girls' voices exploded with excitement to one another. While they were distracted, Tamaki gathered the first here bachelors—Hikaru, Kyoya, and of course, Ed.

This was when Ed realized how professional the "set" was. Tamaki basically pushed him into a small cube that he could hardly fit in sitting down, forget about all the other freakishly tall hosts. In front of him there was a transparent screen hiding his face from the crowd slightly resembling wax paper.

A few seconds into observing his new slightly claustrophobic surroundings, he heard Tamaki trying (and failing) to put on a game show host voice. "…And the first ever lucky girl to be a bachelorette on The Ouran Academy Host Club Dating Game: Spring Festival Edition: Test Run Edition is…" A stock drum roll sound played, coming out of no where. "…Mariko Nanba!"

Knowing the girls that generally attended host club, they seemed to be the type to cheer for each other no matter what. So it was a real shock when all that was heard was murmuring from the crowd, saying things to one another such as "Who's that?" and "Who's she?"

Through the waxy screen, it was hard to see anything but muted colors, shapes, and the movement of said elements. Through the crowd, a small figure emerged—maybe even smaller than Edward himself—with a giant bow on the back of her head. Without a word, she rose to the stage and sat in the chair nonchalantly, or so it appeared to Ed. Even still, the costumers continued to question her identity.

"Mariko(2), are you ready?"

"Sure, let's go for it."

Man, she was short. Ed knew Asians were supposed to be naturally short-statured, but damn, she was tiny.

Tamaki explained to her on the behalf of her and the rest how this was going to go. Once Tamaki handed her the mic, she was in control of asking all the bachelors questions. Whenever she felt she could make her choice (though in reality, the bachelorette could only ask a maximum of three questions,) she'd call out the bachelor of her choice and then the bachelors' identities would then all be exposed.

Al stood at a point backstage where he could see the crowd but they couldn't see him. Honestly, he was afraid—afraid Ed would say something _completely _uncalled for and offend the bachelorette, or worse: everyone in the room. And he worst part? There was nothing he could do except bite his bottom lip and hope for the best.

Finally, when Tamaki rounded up his shpiell and handed the mic to Mariko Nanba. Even though no one could recognize her, Al did immediately. She was in his class and he could somewhat understand why the others did not recognize her. She sat in the back of the class and—at least during class—was anything but outspoken. She did her work diligently, getting as good of grades as the next kid he assumed, but just wasn't as loud as everyone else, so she didn't stand out. But Al had a photographic memory, and even if he didn't he specifically remembered her because he offhandedly observed that she may be the one girl in his class that was shorter than Ed and snickered. Not to mention her hair was just screaming for attention: she had dark brown, nearly black hair with swooping bangs framing her face. On the back of her head rested a giant teal bow, ribbons falling from it alongside little braids tied away by the bow. The rest of her hair whipped behind her all the way down to her waist. That alone Al felt should be enough to make her stand out, but apparently not.

Everyone waited anxiously as this mysterious girl prepared her first question.

"Okay Bachelor #1, what would you do if I brought you home and my parents did everything in their power to keep me away from you?"

Bachelor #1 was Kyoya. "Miss Nanba, whatever you wanted would be fine with me."

"LAME." That was pretty much the absolute _last_ thing anyone expected—even Al's jaw dropped. Whispers among the crowd grew. Even though he said nothing, you could just feel the box Kyoya inhabited radiating with contempt.(3)

"Bachelor #2, same question."

Bachelor #2 was Hikaru. "Well, if your parents don't like me, I can't really do anything to change their minds."

"SERIOUSLY? Bachelor #3, tell me one of you's got some balls!" Everyone gasped at the obscene reference, but Mariko didn't care.

Bachelor #3 was, obviously, Edward. "Hmm…if I really liked you, I'd definitely do everything in my power to see you. I'd see you at school at least but I'd try to see you outside of school, too. Simultaneously I'd try to convince your parents in every way I could to love me and trust me."

Silence.

Out of the way of the mic feed, Mariko asked, "Can I choose my guy now?"

Tamaki, off to the side, murmured to her, "Uh, I guess so…" He, just like everyone else in earshot, was dumbfounded.

Back into the feed of the mic, she straightforwardly said, "I choose Bachelor #3."

Somehow the screen resembling wax paper peeled away on command, revealing all the bachelors' identities.

Tamaki managed to pull himself together long enough to announce, "The winning bachelor is Edward Elric!"

No one even cheered as Mariko approached Ed, who was stepping out of the box to meet her, while Kyoya and Hikaru walked back behind stage, humiliated.

Ed didn't expect much from the way Mariko had been behaving. She was probably forced to come to the club by a friend or two and she could really care less about this game. When she walked right past him without a word, he expected to never hear from her again.

* * *

The dating game continued till all the girls had their turn and even after that some girls demanded they go again because they weren't given "fair options," meaning they didn't get Tamaki for 95% of them. As for first-year Mariko Nanba, she was beyond ecstatic about her result. When it came to Edward Elric, it had been love at first word. The sight of his gorgeous golden braid and his beautiful European face only reinforced the feelings.

While the other girls squeed over the hosts and J-pop idol boys, Mariko watched British movies and worked especially hard in English class. She almost had her accent down (or so she thought.) She had a few online English penpals, and they were all fascinated with Japan. She couldn't understand why—everyone here looked exactly alike. As soon as she could get out of this cage, she was going to move to England and go to University of Oxford to study English Literature. She got good enough grades and she knew that there she could finally find the diversity that she wanted. As soon as she got there she wanted to change her name to Melanie, thus leaving Japan behind in its tracks. Her parents had a passion for traveling till they "settled down" to have her. Why in the world would they do that? Mariko thought her life would've been so much better if her parents had continued backpacking around European after she was born. Her parents didn't want her to leave, but she had to let her caged spirit free before it was too late.

Sure, Mariko went to host club every once in a while because she was bored, but never was actually "entertained." The hosts there were just like every other guy in the school—no, in the country. Of course, Tamaki was half-French, but he still had the facial features of any Japanese guy—the blonde hair by itself wasn't enough to turn her on. Plus, all the other girls were all over him all the time anyway, so it's not like she could get a word in edgewise even if she wanted to.

But when she heard that a couple of German brothers had just joined the host club, she knew she had to go and see. Even though she preferred British, she still preferred European over Asian and they were probably as close as she was going to get in Japan.

She had seen Alphonse in class on Saturday. She figured he was the youngest, since she knew one was a first-year and the other a second-year. She may've approached him, but that wasn't her style. Besides, she decided from observing him that he wasn't her type—too reserved, too respectful; he might as well have been Asian.

But when she heard Edward's gorgeous Germanic voice, she knew he was the one.

She couldn't come off as a psycho, though. She would approach him slowly, using the easier target to get to him: Alphonse. But however she did it, she was determined to make Edward her's.

* * *

01: One of my guy friends tried to convince me once that the only reason girls loved diamonds and jewelry and things of that nature is because they're SHINY.

02: Decided to go for a more Americanized feel instead of formal Japanese-y. (AKA just Mariko instead of Nanba-san/chan.)

03: I drew a picture for you. :D  
http:/ /i1201 . photobucket . com / albums / bb347 / chibi-zizi-chan / IMG_0792-1 . jpg ? t=1300548272 (Delete spaces)  
Trust me, it's all part of the writing process.  
(Oh, and you get to see my super-messy handwriting. Yay.)

* * *

Hope you enjoyed it. :D Reviews = love.

(By the way, for those who are worried that I forgot about Kyoya saying Ed and Al had to cut their hair: Don't worry, I didn't. :D)


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N:** I'm back. Missed me?

XXX

For the rest of the week, the host club kept holding "test runs" for The Ouran Academy Host Club Dating Game: Spring Festival Edition. Kyoya knew that this was priciest set of them all, but because of the almost 500% increase in customers since this all began, he projected that they would be paid back many times over.

Since the first day, Mariko had not made a return to the host club. Of course, everyone still whispered around her anytime she graced them with her presence. Although no one recognized her before the incident, they sure did now. She couldn't even walk down the halls without people whispering to their friends about what happened and how unladylike and offensive she was to everyone around her. She didn't care. She was going to be the first one in history to actually _date_ one of the host. Who would be laughing then?

Despite the incident at the kick-off of the dating game, the rest of the week was quite normal.

On Saturday at lunch time, Tamaki and Alphonse were reveling in the success of the whole shebang. Kyoya had shared the figures with Tamaki, as if that wasn't enough to convince him of how well this thing was going over.

"I had no idea this would be such a success. This being the first festival the host club has been participating in – not to mention that it's only it in it's second year – and having it turn out this well is simply amazing…who knew Edward could come up with such a good idea on a whim?" Tamaki just went on and on. Al learned very quickly that Tamaki would be satisfied with talking anyone's head off as long as they just sat there, smiled, and nodded. Suddenly his face changed, as if he had a revelation. "You know, you've been spending a lot of time here because of Edward and all. You should just become a host like your brother. You two could have your own take on the "brotherly love" type!"

Alphonse decided not to comment on the last part of his statement for now. "Haha, well, I'd like to, but…"

"…But?"

"Well…Kyoya told me that I'd have to cut my hair if I wanted to become a host."

"Hmm…why would he say that?" He honestly had no idea. They had all had their own fair share of temporary hair extensions.

"He said…girls here think long hair is disgusting and unrefined." He had a hard time getting the words out. So far, he really had no interest in any of the girls here, but it still hurt hearing those words put so bluntly towards him.

Tamaki would have to lie to say he disagreed. It's not because he was especially prejudice, but that was just the way they were all raised in this elite society. He knew full well that most of the girls here were all pretty shallow, but he knew it wasn't their fault. Males with long hair such as Alphonse and Edward were considered to not have the time nor money to get a proper haircut, so they didn't even bother. This was quite an insult to the way of the life of the elite, so they tried to keep a fair distance from people as such. However, that wasn't the point. He couldn't think of why Kyoya would say something to a host candidate without notifying him of it.

Suddenly curious, Tamaki asked, "Why _do_ you keep your hair long, Alphonse?"

"Huh? Oh…I don't know…I guess just 'cause Ed's is long."

How peculiar, Tamaki thought. "Well, why does _he_ keep _his_ hair long?"

"I don't really know…" Honestly, it was just an unspoken rule that Ed simply kept his hair long. Alphonse had an idea, but he wasn't sure about it and he didn't want to go around spreading false information. But Tamaki became a fast friend of his and he was pretty sure that he could keep a secret if he asked him to. "Okay, if I tell you, can you promise not to tell anyone? Because I don't know how true it is." Tamaki nodded.

"Okay…well, our dad left us when we were very little – about two and three years old – and when we were ten and eleven our mom died of a broken heart…she tried to keep it hidden but I would be lying if I said we couldn't see the sorrow in her eyes the entire time we were growing up…"

All of this was true so far, but this is where he had to tweak the story. "After she died, he's kept his hair long. Maybe he wants to prove something. Like when this journey – this path we're on is over, maybe he'll start keeping it short again. He's prone to cling on to the past – more than anyone else I know. Really, I wouldn't be surprised if he kept his hair in a drawer or something if he ever did cut it all off."

"Oh…" Of course, Tamaki didn't know what he meant by "this journey," but that wasn't the point. Now that he thought about it, Al had never given keeping his hair long a second thought. His hair was already long from his physical body being in The Gate for so long, so he never really thought about cutting it short after that.

And when he thought about it, he didn't want to hold on to this like Ed did. They had been holding onto this for too long now. I mean, what else could they do now? They were stuck in the technology world now and there was no way going back now. They got Al's body back but there was little to no chance of Ed getting his limbs back. There was nothing else to do. They could finally actually _live_ but Ed refused to accept that reality. Maybe cutting his own hair would send that message out to him.

"Tamaki-_senpai_…"

"Yes Alphonse?"

"Do we have any scissors in here?"

XXX

It would be a lie if Mariko said she wasn't a little surprised when Alphonse Elric walked into the classroom after lunch with short hair when he left with a ponytail. No one else hardly noticed though, or at least no one asked him because talking to the "new kid" would be too weird. All she could wonder was why. She didn't like him the way she liked – no, loved – Edward, but why would he cut his gorgeous hair? His hair was shinier and more beautiful than a lot of the girls here. Even if he had his reasons, why do it in the middle of school when he could just wait to do it over the weekend? What made it so urgent?

But she couldn't keep thinking about it for forever, so she pushed it to the back of her mind, despite being forced to stare at the back of his head for the rest of the day. She wasn't on a speaking basis with him (yet,) so she decided to keep it to herself for now.

She hadn't gone back to the host club since Monday for a reason. She was making a statement – that it wasn't going to be easy for Edward to catch her (though in her mind she had already accepted him as her own.) Plus, she couldn't blow her cover when he now thought that she didn't give a care about him. She didn't want to come off as obsessive or clingy – but she already had a plan set up for the official start of the spring festival.

XXX

Edward was already exhausted by this week, so how in the world was he supposed to survive the entire spring festival? He hardly even had to be a bachelor in this sadistic dating game (that he kept mentally banging his head into a wall for even suggesting at this point) but it was just draining enough being forced to watch the stupidity taking place. The only time he was even chosen as the winner was the first ever run-through with – what was her name? Mariko or something? It made sense that he wasn't ever chosen after that since he wasn't even a part of his culture – very far from it – but the question was, why did Mariko choose him all? Why didn't she act like everyone else at this damn school and more like…him? As far as he knew, she was raised in the same way as he was. Honestly, it made Ed…curious.

Anyway, that was a mere afterthought in Ed's mind at this point. There were much more important things to think about right now. Him and Al had been staying in a cheap motel about a 20-minute walk away from Ouran Academy. They couldn't mooch off the hosts forever (though was it really considered mooching when they volunteered?) and it helped that they got a major discount for staying there by looking as pathetic as possible. It was humiliating, but at least it got them something. They had been doing small odd jobs wherever they could find them. They knew they would eventually have to find more than a makeshift home. They were thinking once they each got a part-time job or two, they may make enough money to rent out an apartment or even a small house.

But the one thing that bothered Ed the most was that the more they made plans, the more permanent their residence in Japan became. Whatever happened to getting out of here as soon as possible? But when he thought about it, there was really nowhere to go. They couldn't go back to Amestris because the gate was permanently closed. When he thought about the circumstances, he mentally cursed himself for his stupidity, but he then remembered why he had to close the gate in the first place. He had thought of going back to Germany, but what was the point? When they came back through the gate, they were propelled into the future so all the people he once knew would be long gone. The sad thing was that that was the closest thing to home they had anymore and even that wasn't anywhere close. So he tried not to think about it, thought it kept coming up in his mind. He didn't even want to think about how long they'd be staying but the way things were going, it seemed like they'd have to at least finish out the school year.

XXX

Tamaki was quickly becoming Tamaki's second best friend. Kyoya would never be replaced, but Alphonse came as a close second. So when Alphonse asked Tamaki to cut his hair, while appalled by his sudden decision, he felt deeply honored.

"Are you _sure_ about this?" he asked, standing behind Alphonse, while both stared into one of the many mirrors in the host club's private dressing room, with scissors in hand. (It's worth nothing that this was probably too late to be second guessing themselves.)

"I'm sure. I'm so ready to chop off this burden."

What exactly went off in his head that made him want to detach from this piece of himself that he had had for a few years at the least? To be honest with himself, this questioning was mostly selfish on Tamaki's part because he didn't want to be the one who would get blamed for this if Alphonse regretted his decision, thus ruining their friendship that was slowing blossoming. Why couldn't he wait to do this after school? He felt there was at least a seventy-five percent chance that Alphonse would regret his decision and then blame Tamaki for it. It was difficult enough to form a friendship with Kyoya, and Kyoya nearly killed him.

"Uh…Tamaki-_senpai_?"

"I…don't think you should do this right now. Wait till after school at the least – even longer than that would be preferable. I just don't want to be responsible for aiding you in this endeavor if you regret it."

Alphonse turned around to face him. "_Senpai_, you just made me realize that I have virtually no attachment to this hair. Why should I? It's just some keratin attached to my head. This is a key step in moving forward into a new chapter in my life, and since you're my newest friend in this chapter, I want you to help me do it."

"…"

"Well, he couldn't really argue with that."

XXX

**A/N**: Sorry, just had to have a short little quip at the beginning. Couldn't resist. :P We all know you wanted to get through that chapter as soon as possible anyway.

So basically the only way I can describe my lack of updating is just plain lack of motivation. Seriously, I had this chapter (and a little extra that I didn't include because this chapter was already plenty long enough) written up in a composition book for about a year now but I never had the motivation to type it up until now. I've been meaning to start up writing again and I'm trying to get into RPs on Gaia and such, but I thought this was first thing that I should update since I know this wayyy long overdue. I hope you guys can notice an improvement in my writing because honestly I was embarrassed reading chapters prior to this lol. It goes without saying that I heavily edited this chapter while I was typing it up. It's surreal that I started this story at the beginning of eighth grade and now I'm about to be a senior. :)

Hopefully I can go back to updating regularly or at the least semi-regularly.

So enough of my crap, now about the story: I know you guys are probably all pissed at me for cutting Al's hair which can only be assumed from the reaction in the reviews when I first mentioned cutting it lol. I hope you can all forgive me.

Reviews = love. If you're a loyal reader from way back when, let me know (and also hopefully how excited you are that I'm back. I know I had some harassers back in the day. ;D You know who you are.)


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